By: Emily Carter
Updated: Dec. 26, 2019
Originally Published: Dec. 26, 2019
Trigger Warning: Child Loss
While I’ve never been one to face needles with grace, I see tattoos as stunning forms of art and expression. For me, the buzzing sound is comforting, the clean environment feels purifying, and the final piece makes every moment of pain worth it. At 18, I got my first tattoo on my arm, thinking it would be a one-time experience. However, after losing my daughter to SIDS when she was just four months old, I knew I would return to get inked again—this time to honor her memory.
From the outset, I sensed that my grief needed a tangible outlet beyond what I was already doing. I craved to keep a piece of her memory alive, even if I could not have her physically with me. Joined by a close friend and fueled by a desire to actively engage with my sorrow, I sought out a tattoo artist to create my first memorial tattoo. I chose a delicate watercolor design featuring the name “Lila Belle” with the phrase “too precious for this world” written beneath it.
The tattoo felt like a perfect tribute to my daughter, bringing me a sense of solace. Now, three years later, I am thankful that my vision was transformed into art. Surprisingly, this memorial tattoo has been a source of comfort during the many phases of my grief journey.
Grieving a loved one is a lifelong process, and just as every person mourns differently, memorial tattoos embody that uniqueness. They serve as a lasting tribute, preserving the memory of those we’ve lost. In a way, these tattoos challenge the natural order of life, allowing the memory of the departed to stay with us long after their passing.
For others, like Sarah Meadows from Oregon, who lost her first child shortly after birth due to complications, memorial tattoos serve as a powerful narrative tool. “People often ask about my tattoo, and sometimes it’s difficult to share; my response depends on how I feel in that moment,” Meadows shares. “But on tough days, I simply smile and say, ‘Yes, that is my child.’”
Despite the heavy waves of grief that wash over her, Meadows finds her tattoo continues to honor her daughter’s life, even if others don’t fully grasp her story.
Bobby Lane, a retired military officer and tattoo artist with seven years of experience at Inked Memories Studio, sees memorial tattoos frequently in his shop. “Many clients share their personal stories of loss with me,” he notes. “They want to include specific details in their tattoos that hold meaning, even if they go unnoticed by others.”
Since our connections with those we’ve lost are deeply personal, our experiences of grief are equally varied. Some wear their heartache visibly, while others may internalize it and grapple with it privately. Yet, the personal symbolism within memorial tattoos creates a bridge, inviting others into the intimate world of grief.
For many, these tattoos serve to normalize their pain, offering closure or acting as a stepping stone in the healing process. For others, it’s less about seeking acknowledgment and more about honoring the memories of those who have passed. Allen Rivers, a tattoo artist at Eternal Ink in Chicago, sees clients requesting memorial tattoos almost every day. Having his own memorial tattoo inked with his late mother’s ashes, he approaches each client with deep empathy, knowing how painful these conversations can be.
“A lot of my clients express that they are getting the tattoo as a gift for their lost loved one,” Rivers explains. “It’s like a way of showing that their memory has left a significant mark on their lives, something they want to proudly display.”
While some may question the need to permanently ink one’s skin, those doubts come from individuals who may not fully understand the depths of grief that drive people to seek such tributes. Getting a tattoo in remembrance of a loved one transcends mere therapy; it symbolizes the reality that grief is not just a phase—it’s an enduring journey that the bereaved wish never to forget.
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In summary, memorial tattoos are a profound way to express grief, honor the memories of lost loved ones, and serve as lasting reminders of the love that endures beyond loss.