For the initial eight years of my parenting journey, I was a dedicated stay-at-home mom. While I engaged in part-time work as a lactation consultant on weekends, it didn’t provide much respite from my little ones—those adorable yet noisy newborns and the emotional new mothers I supported.
Recently, I transitioned to freelancing as a writer from home. With my youngest now in school, I find myself spending increasing amounts of time in my “office” (which is really just my bedroom) typing away. While this may sound like a break from parenting, it actually demands my full attention. To be a successful writer, I must focus on research, communication with editors, and producing quality work.
However, those 20 hours a week in a quiet space, free from distractions, are pure bliss. You know how sometimes you don’t realize how tough things were until they improve? Reflecting on those early years of motherhood, I recognize how drained I felt. I always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom, and I fully embraced it. Yet, the intensity and constant demands of parenting can be overwhelming, especially for someone like me.
During those years, I often struggled with anxiety and depression, feeling chronically exhausted by the end of the day. It wasn’t just the sleepless nights or the endless demands of my children; it was a sensory overload that left me feeling lost amidst the chaos of motherhood—drenched in drool, tears, and the demands of little ones.
A few years back, I discovered the work of Dr. Elaine Aron, a psychologist who introduced the term “highly sensitive person” (HSP). Reading her insights about HSPs was like a revelation to me—it explained so much of my lifelong struggles, particularly during my parenting years. HSPs tend to feel overwhelmed by bright lights, loud noises, and chaotic environments. We often retreat sooner than others, especially in social situations, and we cherish our alone time.
It’s almost ironic how the bustling, noisy life of parenting can be a challenge for a highly sensitive individual, right? Early in my parenting experience, I quickly realized that I wasn’t the type to organize countless playdates or social events. I made it a priority to ensure that nap time and bedtime were dedicated moments of quiet for me. I avoided scheduling chores or activities during those hours; instead, I craved the tranquility of my sleeping home.
In many ways, I’ve managed to navigate motherhood as a sensitive person, carving out time for self-care. However, I now understand that I need more than just a few stolen moments of peace. I require several hours of uninterrupted quiet each day to maintain my sanity. This time allows me to process, reflect, and recharge—far exceeding what a mother on constant duty can usually find.
While I fondly remember the days of full-time motherhood (and yes, I miss my babies), I now see how my current balance significantly benefits my mental and emotional health. Some mothers thrive on the nonstop demands of parenting, and I admire them. However, I’ve come to accept that I am not one of them, at least not in the long term.
Rather than suppressing my sensitive nature or feeling ashamed of it, I’ve started to embrace and celebrate these traits. My heightened awareness allows me to be attuned to my children’s needs, whether I am physically present or not. Even with the balance I’ve struck, there are still moments when I need to retreat from the chaos. I’ve communicated this to my kids; when I say, “I just need some silence,” they understand. I hope to instill in them the idea that acknowledging and addressing one’s needs is a strength, not a weakness.
Every mother faces unique challenges, and prioritizing your own needs amidst the demands of early motherhood can be tough. Yet, feeling overwhelmed is detrimental to both you and your children. The reality is that caring for your mental health is one of the most vital things you can do as a parent. Recognizing what you need to feel balanced and fulfilled is the first step, and taking action to meet those needs will ultimately benefit everyone in the long run.
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out this post on Home Insemination. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination offers great advice on related topics, while IVF Babble serves as an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, understanding your own needs as a highly sensitive person can lead to a more harmonious family life. Embracing those needs rather than ignoring them can foster a healthier environment for both you and your children.