A decade ago, a friend of mine launched a thriving hair salon with two stylists on her team. She sets her own hours, typically working just three days a week, which allows her to accompany her kids on school trips and tackle household tasks. With weekends and holidays free, she’s been in the industry for nearly 20 years, earning a comfortable income—all without ever stepping foot in a college classroom. Her training came from cosmetology school and real-world experience.
The narrative that college is a necessity for success is not only misleading but also harmful. It’s a viewpoint that often comes from a place of privilege. Attending college and graduating with a degree requires significant support and resources that not all families have.
From a young age, we ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Their answers can be whimsical and imaginative—everything from professional nacho testers to video game champions. However, as they approach high school graduation, the pressure mounts for them to decide their futures immediately. The typical “success story” involves acing standardized tests, applying to colleges, selecting a school, and completing a degree program that lasts anywhere from four to eight years, eventually landing a fulfilling job.
But the truth is, not every student fits into this mold—and that should be perfectly acceptable. Unfortunately, parents often push back against any alternative plans their children may have.
I understand the desire parents feel for their children to earn a college degree. In my family, I was one of only two cousins out of ten to graduate from college. My journey involved years of hard work, sacrifices, and some strokes of luck. I juggled three jobs to pay for my education while commuting to school five days a week.
However, it was during my time as a college instructor that I recognized the flaws in the notion that college is the only route to success. Over my nine years of teaching, I witnessed many students struggle to keep up with the demands of their coursework. In our early conferences, I often learned the same story: they were attending college against their will, pressured by their parents.
Many of these students confided in me about their true aspirations—careers in cosmetology, HVAC, truck driving, or fitness training. When I inquired why they weren’t pursuing those interests, the answer was almost always the same: parental expectations. One student recounted a conversation with his father that simply declared, “You will go to college.” There was no room for discussion.
Even when students rely on scholarships and loans, parents often hold firm on their expectations for a degree. Many believe that obtaining a diploma ensures a bright future and a well-paying job. This rigid mindset can stifle young adults, leaving them to wonder how many of their true talents and passions are going unfulfilled in traditional classrooms.
I often pondered what happened to these students after they left my class. Did they find the courage to speak openly with their families about their dreams? Would their families support them if they chose a different path?
While parents understandably want their children to achieve financial independence, it’s crucial to acknowledge that success doesn’t have to follow a singular route. It’s far more important for young adults to feel supported in pursuing their authentic selves than to feel trapped in a pathway deemed acceptable by society.
I wish I could have a heart-to-heart with the parents of struggling students. Not every young adult thrives in a traditional educational setting. Some students flourish in hands-on environments, where they can learn outside of the confines of a classroom.
There are numerous alternatives to a four-year degree, and I hope more parents will partner with their teens to explore these options together. Let’s consider trade schools, vocational training, community colleges, and jobs that offer immediate financial rewards without the need for a lengthy degree program.
I’m not suggesting that parents should lower their expectations; rather, I encourage them to reconsider what those expectations look like. You might just find that your young adult will excel when given the freedom to choose their own path.
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In summary, not every young adult needs to attend college to find success. Parents should explore various paths alongside their children, allowing them to pursue their true passions and interests, rather than adhering to a traditional narrative of success.