A few months back, I had a lightbulb moment: I really need to start saying “no.” This phrase might bring back memories of the D.A.R.E. campaign we grew up with, but my current struggle isn’t about resisting peer pressure from a cool kid with a joint. It’s about managing the overwhelming number of activities and commitments that seem to consume my family’s life. The sports, the after-school clubs ranging from karate to cooking, and the relentless push for my kids to build impressive resumes starting at age eight—it’s all too much.
Then there’s the pressure to be the “perfect parent.” You know the type: crafting Pinterest-worthy projects, snapping Instagram-ready photos, and juggling work, parenting, and volunteering for the PTA. It’s a lot, and it often feels like we all need to hit the brakes and just say no.
My realization hit me after a morning workout class when I arrived just a few minutes late. I shared a knowing smile with another mom, both of us rushing just to make it on time. That exchange lingered in my mind; so many days, I feel like I’m just scraping by—barely making it through school runs, meetings, and endless activities.
This year marks my first as a stay-at-home mom with three kids on the same schedule from 8 to 3. It promised a chance to work out daily, volunteer for every school event, and join a writing seminar. Instead, it’s become a chaotic blur of running from one commitment to another, all while trying to ensure I’m cheerful and prepared for the 3 o’clock pickup—snacks and smiles included.
As soon as the school day ends, the real whirlwind begins. I find myself racing to various activities, juggling carpools, and figuring out how to feed my kids something healthy, all while searching for that elusive soccer shin guard that we just discovered is missing. The sheer exhaustion at the end of the day often leaves me with little energy to read bedtime stories or offer the cuddles my youngest craves. I find myself frustrated and lashing out, feeling like a single parent despite knowing my husband is also stretched thin.
Last fall, my oldest son was involved in six after-school activities. While some required minimal time, others, like year-round soccer, demanded up to 12 hours a week. If I calculated his hours, he was practically working an 80-hour week! Whenever we tried to discuss trimming his schedule, he would point out all the “fun” things he might miss.
How do we slow down in a world that expects so much from us and our children? I remember my own childhood, where afternoons were filled with playdates and unstructured fun, not a schedule packed with sports and competitions. I cherish memories of family vacations and lazy weekends, and I want my kids to have those same experiences—game nights, ski trips, and even the joy of sleeping in on Saturdays.
This year, my husband and I made a commitment to slow down. We’ve learned to say no, skipping practices and games to focus on family time. We even occasionally pull our kids from school if it means creating lasting memories together. Surprisingly, after a few weeks of opting out of certain activities, even my 11-year-old admitted he was relieved; he never really liked them anyway.
While we may occasionally be tempted by the allure of busy schedules and commitments, we are determined to find balance. We want our children to understand that it’s perfectly acceptable to just say no to the chaos. For more insight on managing life and family, check out this engaging post from our other blog, highlighting the importance of balance and self-care.
In the end, it’s all about prioritizing what truly matters.
Summary
The author shares her journey of realizing the importance of saying “no” to overwhelming commitments and activities for herself and her children. Reflecting on the chaotic nature of modern parenting, she emphasizes the value of slowing down to create meaningful family memories, rather than getting lost in a whirlwind of obligations.