Cheating is never a good thing, whether in relationships or life in general. It shatters trust and causes immense pain. Yet, during tough times, a little humor can provide the perspective we need. With that in mind, we’ve compiled some of the most amusing quotes about infidelity to help you see that losing a dishonest partner might just be a blessing in disguise. Here are 25 of the funniest cheating quotes out there!
- “I can’t believe this – both my partners are cheating on me!” – Bella Harris
- “They say ‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in English. Could ‘I do’ be the longest?” – Alex Thompson
- “When someone takes your spouse, the best revenge is to let them keep them.” – Chris Johnson
- “Adultery is like applying democracy to love.” – Jamie Smith
- “I don’t believe in extramarital affairs; people should mate for life, like cats and devoted couples.” – Taylor Reed
- “You know, the Tasmanians, who never cheated, are now extinct.” – Sam Parker
- “There’s only one thing I would end a relationship over: if she caught me with another woman.” – Mike Johnson
- “I’d never cheat on my wife; I love my home too much.” – David Brown
- “My office was so small that if it had been any tighter, it would have been adultery.” – Sarah Collins
- “My mother-in-law was the reason for my divorce. My partner came home one day and found us together.” – Jamie Lewis
- “I’ve respected your partner for years, and what’s good enough for him is good enough for me.” – Chris Morgan
- “I’d never cheat because that would require two people to find me attractive.” – Unknown
- “My partner met me at the door wearing something revealing, but she was just getting home.” – Alex Green
- “Whenever you come home from cheating, expect the cutest nickname. They’ll wake up and say: ‘Hey, darling.’ – Danny Black
- “People are quick to judge when they see a guy sneaking out of the wrong bedroom at night.” – Tony White
- “One husband claimed he could tell when his wife was cheating because the poetry books were suddenly stacked horizontally.” – Lisa Johnson
- “A man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy.” – Jim Brown
- “I got kicked out of college for cheating on a metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the student next to me.” – Alex Scott
- “I’m sure Mick Jagger will find a new person to be unfaithful to soon.” – Jenna Lee
- “I suspect my spouse is cheating because I find lipstick on his shirt, smeared with white-out.” – Wendy Adams
- “I found my partner in bed with someone else and was devastated. I said, ‘Get off me, both of you.’ – Ethan Phillips
- “The worst part of having a mistress is those two dinners you have to manage.” – Oscar Grant
- “Eighty percent of married men cheat in America; the rest cheat in Europe.” – Jamie Mason
- “I wouldn’t trust my husband with a young woman for five minutes, and he’s been gone for twenty-five years.” – Kay Behan
- “I thought I was promiscuous, but I was just thorough.” — Rachel Brand
For more humorous takes on relationships, check out this post on home insemination. And if you’re looking for expert advice on the topic, visit Intracervical Insemination for reliable information. For those interested in understanding IUI success rates, WebMD offers excellent resources.
In summary, while infidelity can be painful, a little humor can help us cope with the situation. The funny quotes above remind us to find laughter in the chaos and to see that moving on might just be the best option.