What if I told you that you can be brimming with self-love yet still not always feel beautiful? Picture this: you’re blasting your favorite Lizzo anthem, belting out the lyrics and banging on your steering wheel like you’re the queen of self-love, but by day’s end, you’re still wishing you could just disappear for a while. It’s possible.
As a mother, it’s all too easy to put your own needs on the back burner, focusing instead on the endless demands of your kids. It’s no surprise that your clothes haven’t seen a stain-free moment since your little ones came into the picture. And it’s hardly shocking that your makeup gets raided by tiny hands, leaving you without anything to conceal the dark circles under your eyes.
Each week, you tell yourself this will be the week you start prioritizing self-care. You’ll invest in yourself, carve out time to reconnect with the version of you that used to feel vibrant and beautiful. Yet, week after week, you’re faced with the remnants of those promises, reassuring yourself with a hollow “next week.”
Part of you adores this new, selflessly chaotic version of yourself—the one who’s a bit messier, a bit softer, overflowing with love for your children. But there’s another side that’s tired of lingering in the shadows, feeling frumpy and somewhat ashamed, as if you’ve “let yourself go.”
Among the many things you may miss from your pre-mom life, one of the biggest might just be the simple act of feeling pretty. You don’t need to look like a model or be pampered like a celebrity preparing for a red carpet event. You’re not even asking for the latest makeup palette (though you wouldn’t mind). But, oh, the lengths you’d go to for just one fresh eyeliner pencil that hasn’t been smashed into a toy or some mascara that hasn’t turned into a clumpy mess.
When you voice these sentiments, society often jumps in to assure you that all you need is a dose of self-love or a sprinkle of self-care. You’re told to “just be grateful” for motherhood and to embrace your body as it is, as if the solution to your feelings lies solely within. While pursuing self-love is essential, these well-meaning pep talks rarely address the deeply rooted insecurities we face; they often only deepen the sense of self-consciousness.
You already know that it’s possible to embody both beauty and chaos. You recognize your worth, understand your potential, and confidently claim your role as a fierce mama. Yes, you are aware that physical beauty is fleeting, but that doesn’t stop you from yearning for the days when you didn’t feel like you were engaged in a constant battle with motherhood, struggling to find time for self-care.
Chances are, you do miss it. No matter how much you cherish seeing your children thrive, you can’t help but reminisce about the days when you had the time, money, and energy to indulge in a little self-pampering. It’s perfectly okay to miss that. It’s totally fine to seek changes that uplift your spirit. You don’t have to settle for your current state just because of some misconstrued notion of “self-love” while skimming through half-hearted attempts at self-care.
While we can feel and be beautiful at any size and through whatever life throws our way, that sense of beauty is not something that can be forced upon us by others. It’s a feeling we must cultivate within ourselves.
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In summary, it’s important to recognize that loving oneself while navigating the challenges of motherhood can be complex. It’s okay to desire a little pampering and to seek out moments that make you feel beautiful, even amidst the chaos. Self-love and self-care are journeys worth pursuing, and it’s perfectly valid to want to feel like your best self again.