145+ Outrageously Funny Quotes from Michael Scott That Go Beyond “That’s What She Said”

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Steve Carrell’s portrayal of Michael Scott in the iconic series The Office has solidified him as a comedic genius. Michael is a character filled with quirks, misunderstandings, and a surprising blend of charm and depth. While he might not be the ideal boss for most, he definitely knows how to lighten the mood with his quirky humor and unforgettable one-liners. Whether you’re revisiting the series or just in need of a good laugh, these Michael Scott quotes will surely entertain.

If you’re feeling out of the loop on The Office trivia, let these quotes inspire you to dive into a binge-worthy marathon. They will make you ponder Michael Scott’s unique perspective on life—and trust us, it’s always amusing. Here’s a collection of his best quotes that will keep you chuckling throughout your workday.

  • “Would I prefer to be feared or loved? Simple. Both. I want people to fear how much they adore me.”
  • “Wikipedia is incredible. Anyone can write anything about any topic, so you know you’re getting the most accurate information possible.”
  • “I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I volunteer a bit too much. And I may have run someone over with my car. So sue me.”
  • “If I had a gun with two bullets and was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and my coworker Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”
  • “I saved a life—mine. Am I a hero? I can’t say for sure, but yes!”
  • “I won’t tell them about the layoffs. If a patient has cancer, you don’t break the news.”
  • “An office isn’t for dying; it’s where you live life to the fullest and chase your dreams.”
  • “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I enjoy being liked, and I have to be liked, but it’s not a compulsive need—it’s more about wanting praise.”
  • “Sometimes I start a sentence and have no idea where it’s headed. I just hope to find it along the way.”
  • “Do I have a special someone? Sure, I have plenty—my employees.”
  • “They say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at work—but I probably will.”
  • “First, make friends. Second, make sales. Third, make love. No specific order.”
  • “I adore inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday.”
  • “I’m an early bird and a night owl, which makes me wise and full of worms.”
  • “It was love at first sight. Actually, it was love at first hear.”
  • “The most sacred thing I do is care for my employees. I provide them with money and food—indirectly.”

These quotes capture Michael’s unique worldview, leaving us in stitches. They also remind us that laughter can be the best remedy for a long workday. For more hilarious quotes from The Office cast, check out our other blog posts, including one about engaging with friends and family here.

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In summary, Michael Scott’s character is a treasure trove of humor and wisdom, offering a mix of hilarity and truth that resonates with anyone who has ever worked in an office. The quotes above showcase his memorable one-liners that continue to entertain fans long after The Office has ended.