As my daughter stepped onto the stage, I felt my heart race, anticipating the judgment of the crowd. For a moment, I questioned my decision to support her newfound passion, but there was no turning back now. My 14-year-old daughter, who battles anxiety, was about to sing in front of a live audience at a cozy local venue. She may have seemed composed and mature, but I knew she was feeling a whirlwind of emotions inside.
Just two weeks earlier, during a trip, she had spotted a ukulele and enthusiastically begged me to buy it for her. I went through the typical mom checklist: why did she want it, how much would it cost, and would she genuinely use it? Eventually, I succumbed to her excitement. I had been hoping for her to discover “her thing,” that special passion that ignites her spirit.
For the next 12 days, she immersed herself in ukulele tutorials on YouTube. Then came the big reveal: she wanted to perform at an open mic night and sing. My daughter is truly remarkable—funny, creative, intelligent, and a budding theater enthusiast. While she has a natural talent for music, singing isn’t her strongest suit, and I worried about how others might perceive her.
As a sensible adult, I understand that critics will always be present. I know we shouldn’t let them dampen our joy and that their negativity often stems from their own issues. But, let’s face it, nobody enjoys being around haters. It’s common for people to spend their lives trying to evade them. My daughter often records countless videos she never shares, convinced they aren’t perfect. I constantly remind her that perfection isn’t the goal, but her anxiety often overwhelms her.
I want her to pursue her passions without worrying about what others think. However, as a realistic and practical mom, I find it challenging to practice what I preach. I wish I could be one of those confident women who doesn’t feel self-conscious at the beach, but I can’t claim that title. I want my daughter to embrace her unique self and cherish her imperfections.
So, I resolved not to control the situation this time and simply said, “Sure!” How could I encourage her to step out of her comfort zone while setting limitations based on my own fears? How could I tell her she didn’t need to be perfect, yet expect her to excel? How could I urge her to not let anxiety restrict her life while trying to shield her from it?
As she waited for her turn, I could see her nerves creeping back in. I fought the urge to suggest she postpone the performance to practice more and reminded her to utilize the anxiety management techniques she had learned. It was clear she was determined to go through with it.
When she finally took the stage, she began with a story that elicited laughter from the audience. My anxiety eased a bit, but I was still apprehensive about her performance. Then, she absolutely nailed it! Every chord was flawless, and she confidently showcased her talent. The audience joined in, applauding her with enthusiasm.
That night, I had intended to teach my daughter about handling criticism and negativity. Instead, she imparted a valuable lesson to me: whether it’s a boss, a friend, or even a parent, if someone tells you “you can’t,” just ignore them. Follow your heart, trust your instincts, and do what makes you happy. Anxiety can take a backseat.
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Summary
My daughter’s courageous performance despite her anxiety taught me the importance of supporting her passions without letting fear dictate our actions. It was a reminder that we should all pursue what we love, regardless of outside opinions.