Hello, I’m Emily, and I’m a yeller. I’m not talking about being a crazed screamer, but I do tend to communicate with a fair amount of volume. I’ve always been a loud person, a trait I inherited from my family. My mother was loud, her sisters would raise their voices, and even my grandmother had a knack for giving commands that could be heard from across the room. My great-grandmother, whom I never met, was also known for her vocal style—albeit in Italian.
We embody the classic Italian-American mom stereotype: we love our kids fiercely, and if you have a problem, well, we probably know someone who can help. Picture a version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but swap the lamb for a hearty eggplant parmigiana. And yes, we yell.
It’s important to clarify that yelling doesn’t always mean anger. My sister once told me I operate at two volumes: Loud and Off. She’s right; loudness is my default mode. Regardless of my mood, I may shout out something without even realizing it.
My partner, Jake, is the opposite of me. He has a quieter demeanor but appreciates my passionate approach to life. When I get fired up, whether it’s about something exciting or frustrating, he simply pulls me in for a hug and laughs. He finds my vibrant spirit endearing, and I cherish that.
Despite my lifelong loudness, I had this idealistic vision of being a calm, gentle mother. Clearly, that didn’t pan out! Trying to suppress my natural inclination to express myself loudly is a challenge I’ve opted not to fight. My kids are loud too, and we embrace the noise. We let them be themselves, and yes, even the dog joins in.
Honestly, I only feel a bit guilty for yelling because societal norms suggest I should. However, I haven’t seen it negatively affect my children. There are boundaries I won’t cross, and I’m never mean or belittling. I just happen to be loud.
Every now and then, I do raise my voice too much, and I’m not proud of those moments. I’m not perfect, but I always make it a point to acknowledge when I overstep and apologize to my kids.
For me, yelling is just an increase in volume, not an emotional outburst. Interestingly, some experts argue that it’s not the volume but the content of what you say that matters. Elizabeth Sanders, a researcher from the University of Texas at Austin, believes that yelling isn’t a big deal if you follow a few simple rules.
1. Avoid Critiquing While Yelling
When you do raise your voice, refrain from critiquing your child. It’s fine to shout commands or express urgency, but avoid making personal judgments. You can be loud without being hurtful.
2. Know Your Audience
Every child reacts differently to volume. If you have a child who is sensitive to yelling, make an effort to adapt. I have one neurotypical child and one on the autism spectrum. Neither is bothered by my loud commands, but I learned quickly that yelling doesn’t guarantee compliance—it’s more about timing and approach.
3. Don’t Overdo It
If you yell frequently, it loses its impact. My friends from quieter homes often thought I was arguing with my mom because we spoke so loudly, but that was just our way of communicating. To make yelling effective, you should generally use a softer voice.
Ultimately, whether you’re a quiet parent or someone like me who is more expressive, we all have our own styles. What matters is checking in with ourselves and apologizing when necessary. Our children deserve to hear love, encouragement, and kindness, regardless of the volume.
If you’re interested in more tips on parenting and communication, you can check out our other blog post here. Also, for authoritative information on this topic, visit Intracervical Insemination and Medical News Today for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, yelling can be a part of family life if done thoughtfully. Embrace your style, but always prioritize kindness and respect in your communication.