For many people, the thought of publicly spending time alone is simply inconceivable. Especially for women, venturing out solo can feel daunting. Yet, the fear often extends beyond safety concerns; societal norms have long conditioned women to view self-sufficiency and solitude as somehow undesirable. Enjoying one’s own company has been labeled as a flaw, leading to feelings of pity or judgment from others.
As I’ve matured, I’ve come to recognize that these outdated perceptions are simply nonsense. For a long time, I hesitated to go out on my own, worrying about what others might think. But I’ve realized that the struggle to coordinate plans with friends can be more frustrating than waiting for their approval. My time is precious, and I refuse to let it slip away simply because I can’t find someone to accompany me.
Initially, I found the idea of going to the movies alone unsettling. I liked having someone to chat with afterward. However, each solo movie outing has made me question why I don’t do it more frequently. When I go alone, I can choose the time and seat that I prefer without feeling guilty about getting comfortable in my space. Sure, sharing a surprising moment with someone would be nice, but not having a companion doesn’t lessen my enjoyment—not at all.
Research supports this notion, noting that discomfort often arises from our reliance on external stimuli when we’re alone. Thuy-vy Nguyen, a psychology professor at Durham University, explains that solitude can feel uncomfortable primarily because we’re not depending on others to shape our experience.
Similarly, I used to dread attending concerts on my own, feeling out of place in a sea of people. Ever since I started going to concerts at age 12, I always found a friend to join me. The thought of being alone seemed boring. But when I finally attended a concert solo, I had an incredible time! I connected with the people around me, and even if I hadn’t, the thrill of the performance remained unchanged. Now, I’m looking forward to three upcoming concerts by myself—something I would have deemed impossible just two years ago.
Up until recently, I hesitated to engage in many activities alone. I even avoided working out solo until this year. After a friend and I stopped attending yoga classes together, I let my practice lapse. Now, I regularly attend classes, often forgetting that I’m unaccompanied. It’s simply a personal ritual.
It’s amusing how I can enjoy working solo in a coffee shop for hours without a second thought, yet I still have to muster courage to dine alone. Walking into a restaurant and requesting “a table for one” feels incredibly vulnerable, but I see it as my next challenge.
Embracing solitude is rarely a mistake, yet we are often conditioned to think otherwise, ignoring our need for personal time. Contrary to popular belief, going out alone doesn’t make you a “loner.” It signifies a choice to prioritize yourself. Angela Grice, a speech-language pathologist, notes that choosing solitude helps individuals develop their identity and interests.
Once you become comfortable with your own company, you may find that your friendships strengthen. When you meet up with friends, your happiness is genuine; you’re not merely avoiding loneliness. This positivity radiates, enhancing your relationships.
Becoming comfortable with solitude is a journey that requires time and effort. While I cherish my alone time, I still remind myself that doing things solo is perfectly normal. It’s a gradual process. Start small—treat yourself to a coffee, bring a book or your favorite activity, and set a timer for 30 minutes. Then, try extending that time, and if you can, go see a movie alone. You might discover that you enjoy your own company much more than you anticipated. For more insights on this topic, check out this related post on home insemination or visit this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
The experience of going out alone, especially for women, often feels daunting due to societal norms. However, embracing solitude can lead to personal growth, stronger friendships, and a deeper understanding of oneself. It may take time and effort to feel comfortable with solo outings, but starting small can make a significant difference.