Who doesn’t enjoy a cheeky, risqué joke now and then? Let’s face it—sex jokes reign supreme in the world of humor, from playful quips about self-pleasure to silly schoolyard banter about intimacy. You’ll be surprised at how often these jokes come in handy (wink, wink). It’s perfectly fine to embrace your inner humorist; we’re all adults here! Sex can be both entertaining and funny, whether in or out of the bedroom.
So, if you’re ready for a good laugh, these playful sex jokes and cheeky riddles will keep you giggling all night long. And if you’re interested in more laughs, don’t forget to check out our lists of puns about anatomy, bathroom humor, and all things cringe-worthy.
- What did the clitoris say to the vulva? “It’s all good in the hood!”
- What did the penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me cum in there!”
- Why did the penis lose his mind? Someone was messing with his head.
- What’s another term for a diaphragm? A trampoline for dicks.
- What did the banana say to the vibrator? “You’re the one shaking? I’m about to get eaten!”
- How does Popeye get lubricated? With Olive Oyl, of course.
- Why does Santa’s sack seem so big? He only comes once a year!
- What’s better than pansies on a piano? Tulips on your organ!
- What did the penis say to the condom? “Cover me, I’m going in.”
- Why is winning the lottery like having sex with triplets? You can say you’ve had six identical balls!
- What did Adam say to Eve? “Stand back. I don’t know how big this thing’s gonna grow.”
- What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
- My girlfriend told me she always smokes after sex. I said we should try lube next time.
- What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew the lightbulb.
- Why did Popeye punch the Pope? He heard he went to Mount Olive.
- I just had sex in an elevator. It was great on so many levels!
- What’s the speed limit in bed? It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back.
- What did the woman say when her boyfriend cried after sex? “I had you pegged for someone else.”
- What do you get when you screw a textbook? A D in math.
- My wife said if 1,000 people upvote this joke, she’ll try anal right then and there. So don’t vote until Tuesday—she’s on a business trip.
- After ten years, police are still hunting for the Viagra thief. He’s just so hard to catch.
- Convincing my partner to take Viagra was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
- What do you do when you encounter an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you’re sorry!
- How is being in the military like getting a blowjob? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
- We all know Eve wore a fig leaf. But what did Adam wear? A hole in it!
- We’ve just started exploring Tantric sex… It’s been a long time coming!
- What do a bridge and sex have in common? If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a really good hand!
- Life is like a penis. Often hard for no reason!
- Why is a one-night stand like a snowstorm? You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it will last.
- How do people in a long-distance relationship get laid? They have a sex drive.
- What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? One has a sex drive.
- I tried phone sex once… But the holes were too small.
- My partner told me that sex is better on vacation. It wasn’t the best postcard I’ve ever received.
- Boyfriend: “Want a quickie?” Girlfriend: “As opposed to what?”
- What’s the difference between the G-spot and female orgasm? Men give up on both.
- What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman? A man will actually press the buttons and pull the knobs on a microwave.
- What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed.
- Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They’re always looking for a tight seal.
- What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? F*cking hot!
- What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? “Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.”
- A daughter asked her mom, “How do you spell scrotum?” Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
- A guy walks into a bar, and another guy says, “I slept with my wife before we were married. Did you?” The other guy says, “I don’t know, what was her maiden name?”
- Two sex workers on a corner discuss business. One says, “Yep, it’s gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other replies, “No, no. I just burped.”
- A man and a woman are having sex in a dark forest. After 15 minutes, the man says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!” The woman replies, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for ten minutes!”
- A husband is supposed to make his wife’s panties wet, not her eyes.
- A wife is meant to make her husband’s dick hard, not his life.
- Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
For more fun and informative content, check out our other blog post here for a deeper dive into the topic. And if you’re looking for expert advice, this resource is excellent for pregnancy and home insemination guidance. Meanwhile, for all your inquiries about safe practices, visit this authority for reliable information.
In summary, these 47 naughty jokes provide a lighthearted take on intimacy and relationships. They’ll surely add some laughter to your day, reminding us that humor can be just as important as connection in our lives.