We may not want to sound too boastful, but who doesn’t have a soft spot for some good old toilet humor? Farts are timelessly funny, and even the mishap of a shart can bring a chuckle. After all, everyone farts—whether it’s the tiniest baby or the wisest grandparent. With that in mind, we’ve compiled a list of the funniest fart jokes out there.
Unlike the unpleasantness of a fart, a solid fart joke has lasting power. The giggles that come from the various sounds and smells emitted from our bodies are universal and can bring a smile to anyone’s face, adult or child. And if you’re in the mood for more laughs, check out our other collections of jokes, including those about periods, poop, and, yes, even boobs.
Here’s a sneak peek of our best fart jokes!
- Why do you need to be cautious around ninjas? Because their farts are silent but deadly!
- What’s invisible and smells like carrots? You guessed it—a bunny fart!
- What happens when you cook up a bean and onion casserole? You create tear gas!
- What do you call a ghostly fart? A spirit bomb!
- I swear I didn’t fart; my rear just wanted to send you a kiss!
- If you were to describe a fart scientifically, it would be a kiss from the intestines.
- Two flies land on some poop. One of them farts, and the other exclaims, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”
- Why doesn’t the skeleton fart in public? Because he lacks the guts!
- What’s invisible and smells like worms? A bird’s fart!
- What’s the ideal weight for a fart? Zero pounds—because if it weighs more, you’ve got trouble!
- Why did the man stop cracking fart jokes? He was told they stunk.
- Did you hear about the time Bill Gates let one rip in the Apple store? They didn’t have any Windows to help out!
- Farts are like kids: you’re fine with your own, but can’t stand anyone else’s.
- What’s scary? Trying to let one rip after a bout of diarrhea.
- I got fired from my job spreading awareness about flatulence. I guess I let one slip!
- What do you get when an aristocrat passes wind? Noble gas!
- I called the Incontinence Hotline, and the operator said, “Can you hold, please?”
- I tooted at work yesterday, and my coworker promptly opened the window. It must’ve been bad—because we were flight attendants!
- My partner wanted to heat things up in bed, so I farted under the covers.
- I didn’t dare fart in front of my partner until we tied the knot. Her family was not impressed.
- An elderly couple at a concert: the wife whispers, “I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?” The husband replies, “Replace the battery in your hearing aid.”
- A fart is like success—only bothersome when it’s not yours!
- If you were to fart while traveling at the speed of sound, would you smell it before you heard it?
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being caught farting by the other chickens!
- Heard about the blind and heartbroken skunk? She fell in love with a fart!
- Farting on an elevator is a cardinal sin; it’s wrong on so many levels.
- Why did the fart miss graduation? It got expelled!
- What do you call someone who only farts at home? A private tutor!
- What did the menstrual pad say to the fart? “You are the wind beneath my wings.”
- Why is it unwise to fart in church? Because you have to sit in your own pew.
- What do gassy surfers fear the most? A shart attack!
- Why is love akin to a fart? If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
- Laughter is contagious; farting? Not so much.
- Why do farts have a scent? So that deaf folks can enjoy them too.
- What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past!
- Why does everyone think Piglet is the culprit? Because he’s always with Pooh!
- I don’t fart; I just whisper in my pants!
- When a clown passes gas, does it smell funny?
- I used to cough to mask my farts in public, but now I fart to cover my coughs!
- Frank let one rip in class, and the teacher sent him out. Outside, he couldn’t stop laughing. The principal stopped by and asked why he was laughing. Frank replied, “I farted in class, and they’re stuck inside smelling it while I’m out here in fresh air!”
- I just farted on my wallet—now I have gas money!
- What do you call a cow’s fart? Dairy air!
- How can you tell when a moth farts? It flies in a straight line!
- Some may claim fart jokes are childish, but there’s definitely a methane to the madness!
- What did one pharaoh say to the other after they both farted? “We have a toot in common.”
- When I was younger, my dad would deny he farted every time. Years later, I realized he was gaslighting me!
- When is a fart joke appropriate? When it doesn’t stink!
- Hookers don’t fart; they release prosti-toots!
- What’s the difference between a pun and a fart? A pun is a shift of wit.
- How does NASA pass gas? They use their ass-teroids!
- Why was there a fart on Kickstarter? It just needed some gas!
- If you let one rip in public, just yell “jet power!” and walk away quickly.
- Fart jokes are hilarious, but eye jokes? Now that’s cornea!
- How does a duck pass gas? With his ass-quack!
- I came here broken-hearted, hoping to poop, but only managed to fart. Then one day, I took a chance, tried to fart, and pooped my pants!
- The best part about being a teacher? You can fart freely at work and watch the kids blame each other for it!
- What did the poop say to the fart? “You blow me away!”
For more fun and engaging content, check out this other blog post on home insemination. You won’t want to miss it! Also, if you’re looking for reliable information, Intracervical Insemination is a great resource, as is March of Dimes, which offers fantastic insights on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Fart jokes are a timeless source of humor that can elicit laughter from all ages. This collection features a variety of puns and jokes that highlight the hilarity of passing gas, from classic one-liners to clever wordplay. Perfect for sharing with friends or family, these jokes remind us that laughter is the best medicine.