I remember the days when I sat at the kitchen table with my eldest child, constantly correcting her grip on the crayon to ensure she held it the “right way.” You know, that classic tripod grip every preschool teacher talks about. But back then, my child wasn’t even four—she was still a toddler, barely out of diapers. Yet, in my first-time mom enthusiasm, I felt compelled to make sure she didn’t fall behind. I even dreamed of boasting about her handwriting skills to other parents at the playground.
Interestingly, this was the same child I had taught to use baby sign language to express her needs. I felt like a parenting genius when she proudly said “grandma,” transitioned out of daytime diapers, and finally slept through the night in her toddler bed. Fast forward to now, with four kids under my belt, I’ve learned to relax about developmental milestones. Some children take their time to master skills like writing, recognizing colors, or even potty training. And you know what? That’s perfectly normal.
Need some evidence? Check out a side-by-side X-ray comparing the hand of a seven-year-old and that of a child in the Early Years Foundation Stage (under five years old). The differences are striking and impact a child’s ability to practice fine motor skills like writing and using scissors. Simply put, younger children’s hands aren’t ready for those advanced tasks yet.
Many parents and educators may not realize they are pushing children to do things that their bodies aren’t equipped for yet. They often mirror my early parenting mindset, striving for their children to not just keep up with peers but to excel. After all, we think we’re prepping them for their future college years and careers, right?
But before you abandon your commitment to your child’s education, consider this: handwriting is crucial for learning, but the timing of when to introduce it is essential. An occupational therapist, Jenna Hart, shared insights that handwriting engages the brain, boosts memory, enhances focus, and sparks creativity. All of these benefits are invaluable during a child’s academic journey.
However, Jenna emphasizes that parents need to relax regarding their child’s fine motor development. She advises that we must consider each child’s developmental stage, acknowledging that every child grows at their own pace. In fact, she points out that fine motor skills develop as gross motor skills provide stability for exploring the world.
So instead of pressuring three-year-olds to cut along straight lines, let’s take them to the park, where they can engage in sensory-rich play. Children are not meant to sit still and be quiet. Jenna encourages parents to take advantage of their surroundings, incorporating various textures and tools, adding music, and turning daily tasks into games. The more active and enjoyable an experience is for a child, the more beneficial it becomes.
Instead of forcing kids to repetitively practice writing letters on paper, why not let them form letters with Play-Doh? The tedious task of repetitive writing can feel more like a punishment than a learning experience. Likewise, encourage your little ones to hang from monkey bars; it’s a great way to strengthen their hands while ensuring they get the physical activity they need.
This advice is a breath of fresh air! After all, trying to coerce a young child into writing their name can feel like a form of torture. I’m quite sure my toddler can sing her name beautifully, but as my youngest child, she doesn’t yet write it or the letters that make it up. And that’s completely okay! She’s busy racing her friends down the slide, playing with her sister’s slime, and learning fun alphabet songs instead.
That said, this doesn’t mean you should completely abandon your parenting responsibilities. By age five, Jenna points out that children should start learning to print letters and numbers, consistently use one hand for fine motor tasks, and by age seven, they should be able to print neatly, cut along lines, and dress themselves independently.
It’s crucial to keep in mind that children develop skills at their own pace. Parents are both educators and observers. Some children may exhibit developmental delays; red flags to watch for include indecisiveness about hand preference, unsteady or rigid movements, and difficulty drawing basic shapes. If you notice any of these signs, Jenna suggests compiling a list of concerns and discussing them with your pediatrician or school evaluators to determine the next steps.
So, let your preschooler color outside the lines—you’ll both appreciate the freedom it brings.
For more insights, check out this other blog post on our site.
In summary, while handwriting is important, forcing young children to write too early is counterproductive. Children develop at their own pace, and it’s essential to focus on engaging and active play to support their fine motor skills while allowing them the freedom to learn in a fun and enjoyable way.