When my kids first got their smartphones, they took them everywhere—literally. I quickly realized they needed a crash course in phone etiquette after my son decided to chat with his friend on speaker while ordering a burger. And let’s not forget my daughter blasting cat-dancing videos in the grocery store. To outsiders, it probably seemed like they were just being rude and inconsiderate teens who didn’t care. But the truth is, they were simply unaware. I hadn’t taught them that people nearby may not want to hear their math class gossip or how to balance conversations while ordering food.
Speaking of learning, a viral story recently circulated about a group of teens who were ecstatic about their first dinner out before homecoming. They left a measly tip, and upon realizing their mistake, they returned to the restaurant to correct it. They included a note apologizing for their error, explaining how they weren’t familiar with proper tipping etiquette. “We didn’t know how to handle the bill, and you were really helpful in splitting it up,” they wrote, acknowledging their oversight, which amounted to a tip of only $3.28.
These teens didn’t have to come back or even write a note, but they did. It served as a wonderful reminder that they weren’t just self-absorbed kids, even if they seemed that way at first.
We often forget that teenagers are still very much kids. They make mistakes, act impulsively, and sometimes just don’t know certain things. Instead of jumping to conclusions or criticizing them harshly, a little patience can make all the difference. Their brains are still developing, and they won’t be fully formed until around 25.
There are moments when we witness what appears to be rudeness, like when my son mistakenly entered the express lane at the store with 35 items. He was so focused on using his debit card that he didn’t see the sign. Fortunately, the cashier kindly reminded him instead of being rude, and he learned his lesson. I just hope the person behind him who shamed him feels a twinge of guilt.
How can we expect our teens to be kind and patient when we are so quick to criticize? As a parent, I often forget how much our teens are evolving—not just in terms of manners but also in navigating complex social situations. We need to take a step back and offer more guidance rather than jumping down their throats when they slip up.
I’ll admit, I need to improve my patience with my three teens. Last summer, I rushed home to gather my daughter and her friends for a fair. When I arrived, out of breath with groceries, she was lounging on the couch, refusing to help. “Hurry up, let’s go!” I urged, but I got a door slammed in my face instead.
Hours later, I discovered that my daughter and her friends had had a falling out. Instead of working through it together, they were all sulking at home. In my frustration, I forgot that they’re still learning how to handle these situations. I had assumed they would know better by now.
We often take for granted that teens understand social norms and expectations. However, they are still figuring things out and are bombarded with peer pressure. They feel embarrassed when they don’t know how to manage a situation, and it takes courage for them to make amends, just as it does for us adults when we mess up.
Giving them the space to navigate these experiences—and doing so with kindness—can lead to significant change. When we respond with empathy instead of judgment, we create an environment where they can learn and grow.
As parents, we sometimes feel frustrated when our kids handle situations differently than we would. This is where our patience is essential. It’s not about condoning bad behavior but rather guiding them toward better choices. Teens often get caught up in their own worlds, which can lead to misunderstandings, like under-tipping or overlooking others’ feelings.
Just as adults deserve compassion when they make mistakes, so do our teens. We must remember that they may not always know how to ask for help or guidance. If you’re looking for more insights on navigating these challenging years, check out this blog post that delves deeper into parenting strategies, or learn more about the science behind it from Intracervical Insemination and In Vitro Fertilisation, which provide valuable resources.
In summary, our teens are still figuring things out. Mistakes are a part of the learning process, and a little understanding can go a long way in helping them grow into considerate adults.