When I relocated to Austin two years ago, I found myself in an unfamiliar place, knowing absolutely no one. After spending nine years in New York nurturing my kids, the thought of starting anew without my beloved mom circle was daunting.
Rebuilding a social life in a new city can feel a lot like dating. You connect with others through school events or local gatherings and peel back the layers of potential friendships, deciding who fits into your life.
During my first year in Austin, I met Sarah at a school function. Our initial interactions were polite and typical of new acquaintances, creating a superficial bond, much like many early female friendships. However, everything changed the following summer when our children joined the same soccer team. As we spent evenings together, I noticed Sarah consistently scanning the sidelines, ensuring every mom felt included.
“Hey, Rachel! You don’t have to hang back there alone!” she called to a mom sitting by herself. “Come join us! This is Rachel—her daughter is on the team too!” It was heartwarming to see how she made it her mission to ensure everyone felt welcome.
Sarah is one of the most inclusive people I’ve ever met. She strikes up conversations with strangers at events and even invites fellow moms she meets in restrooms to join our group.
Discussions around motherhood often touch on the theme of inclusivity. Many women feel ostracized or long for an invite to gatherings. The social dynamics we faced as children linger on. Sarah faced significant bullying during her youth, yet instead of allowing her insecurities to hinder her, she chose to uplift herself and others.
“Fourth grade was a tough year for me,” she reflected. “I struggled academically and was teased about my looks. It was the first time I truly felt like an outsider.” This experience left a lasting mark, but during the summer before high school, she transferred schools, allowing herself a fresh start. “I thought, ‘This is my chance to rewrite my narrative,’” she shared. “I made it my mission to ensure no one else felt that loneliness.”
Her open-hearted approach extended into her role as a mother. Sarah emphasizes that finding your tribe requires exploration. “When my son was little, we tried everything from playdates to music classes,” she recounted. “Eventually, we found our people among the soccer families. Friendships should come naturally, and if they feel like a chore, they’re probably not worth your time.”
Though Sarah has her own insecurities, she remains aware that everyone carries their own burdens. As the school year kicks off, many of us are teaching our kids the importance of kindness when meeting new classmates. It’s the perfect moment for moms to lead by example.
“Want to make a new friend? Just flash a genuine smile!” she advised. “A simple smile can alleviate someone else’s fears about putting themselves out there.”
This article was originally published on Oct. 18, 2019.
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In summary, Sarah exemplifies the power of inclusivity in motherhood. By fostering connections and making others feel welcome, she transforms the often intimidating landscape of mom groups into a supportive community.