Recently, while scrolling through social media, I came across a post from Lisa Hartman, a mother of a non-verbal autistic child. She shared that her son would be using a blue pumpkin this Halloween to signal to others that he might not say “trick or treat.” Lisa expressed her hope that if the blue pumpkin concept gained traction, she wouldn’t have to continually explain her son’s situation to strangers throughout the evening. Her post has gone viral, garnering over 100,000 shares, with many praising the idea.
I can empathize with her feelings. My youngest child is also autistic. While he does speak, there’s no guarantee he will say “trick or treat” at every house we visit. We’re practicing with him, and while we remain hopeful, we know we won’t truly know how it goes until we’re in the moment. Parents like us, whose kids have special needs, are always striving to enhance their children’s experiences, not just on Halloween but every day. I understand the intent behind Lisa’s suggestion; she seeks to make a challenging world more accommodating for her child.
Why I Do Not Support the Blue Pumpkin Idea
However, I do not support the idea of using blue pumpkins. A few years back, Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) initiated The Teal Pumpkin Project to create a safe Halloween for children with food allergies. By placing a teal pumpkin on their porch, households signal they offer non-food treats, ensuring inclusivity for kids with dietary restrictions. Children with food allergies can choose to carry teal pumpkin buckets to indicate their needs, but they are not required to announce their condition.
The blue pumpkin concept, while seemingly similar, feels distinctly different to me. The teal pumpkins encourage adults to proactively create a safe environment for children with food allergies without necessitating that those kids disclose their illnesses. Conversely, the blue pumpkin idea seems to place the onus on children with autism to communicate their challenges to gain empathy.
If someone wants to display a blue pumpkin to signal kindness to my child who may be unable to say “trick or treat,” I’m all for it. But it frustrates me that a caring mother felt compelled to devise a way to encourage kindness from others while her child engages in the innocent act of trick-or-treating.
The Unfair Burden on Non-Verbal and Autistic Children
Why should non-verbal and autistic children have to broadcast their diagnoses to receive kindness? It’s simply not fair. This blue pumpkin initiative exists because of the unfortunate reality that some people can be quite unkind to those with special needs.
My kids will be using their regular buckets this year, just like they always do. When neighbors open their doors, they’ll encounter a cheerful little dinosaur hoping for some candy. Whether or not my child says “trick or treat,” they will understand his presence. Why should he go through an uncomfortable performance just to be treated nicely? More importantly, why should he carry a blue pumpkin as a badge of his neurodiversity for others to feel comfortable?
A Call for Kindness
If you’re handing out candy this Halloween, simply be kind to every child who approaches your door. It doesn’t matter if they say “trick or treat” or not, blue pumpkin or not. You don’t need to know the reasons behind their silence; perhaps they are shy or overwhelmed. Ultimately, it’s none of your business.
Most kids are doing the best they can. Halloween can be overwhelming, especially for children who are a bit different. Yet, it’s also a day when they can dress up and feel free to express themselves without the pressure to conform. There’s no need for them to carry a special bucket to earn your kindness.
In Summary
Let’s cultivate a spirit of kindness without requiring children to justify their differences. If we can foster understanding and compassion without labels, we won’t need to resort to color-coded buckets.
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