Just 24 days. That’s how long my five-year-old son was in kindergarten before he was expelled. His behavior—hitting, kicking, and even spitting on classmates—occurred almost every day. Understandably, his peers were distressed, and other parents were understandably concerned. The teacher simply reached her limit, we were informed.
“We want him to thrive,” the administration told my partner and me. “But we don’t believe this environment is suitable for his success.”
We had enrolled our son in a private school, hoping it would provide the support he needed. He had displayed signs of potential ADHD, struggling with aggression, focus, and staying still during pre-K, but with hard work from his teachers and specialists, we had made significant progress. We were optimistic that kindergarten would be a similar experience. This school had a lower student-to-teacher ratio than our assigned public school, and we believed that the extra attention would ease his transition into one of the most challenging phases of childhood—starting school.
It’s essential to recognize that such behaviors in young children are not unusual. Often, aggression is linked to developmental delays in impulse control rather than factors like trauma or household instability, which are frequently sensationalized in the media. According to Psych Central, “Children who exhibit high levels of aggression may possess less mature nervous systems compared to their peers, leading to issues with self-regulation… When they become excited or angry, stopping themselves can be very challenging.”
I refuse to lose hope for him. I sincerely hope others won’t either.
Though we recognized that aggression in young children is not rare, we took his actions very seriously. Each day as I dropped him off, I whispered a prayer. I hoped our conversations about kindness would resonate with him. I wished that he would remember to “stop and take a deep breath” during moments of anger or anxiety, just like we practiced. Above all, I prayed for the safety of everyone involved.
In the meantime, we were doing everything possible behind the scenes. A behavior specialist consistently monitored him at school, and my partner and I explored various recommended techniques and literature. We consulted a doctor who indicated that while our son was too young for a formal diagnosis, he exhibited symptoms associated with ADHD.
Despite our efforts, on day 24, we were called to pick him up, belongings in hand. As he prepared to leave, nearly all his classmates stood up to give him a heartfelt group hug, a moment that nearly brought me to tears.
The very next day, we enrolled him in our zoned public school, ready to confront the same challenges in a new setting. I signed up for individualized training with a behavior expert who charges $350 per hour. Additionally, my partner and I are attending a free “how to manage challenging behavior” parenting class offered through the school district.
I was taken aback by how unprepared—or possibly uninterested—the private school seemed in addressing behavioral issues among its students. It was shocking how easily they gave up on a five-year-old. Most importantly, my heart aches for families who lack the financial means or support systems to seek specialized help. What happens to those children? Where will they find the assistance they require?
As a society, we have a considerable journey ahead in understanding child development. Kindergarten should be a nurturing environment for all children. I take my son’s challenges seriously, yet I remain committed to helping him overcome them.
I will not abandon him. I hope the world will stand with us, too.
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Summary:
A mother shares her experience of her son being expelled from kindergarten after just 24 days due to behavioral issues linked to possible ADHD. Despite their efforts and previous success in pre-K, the private school could not accommodate his needs. The family now seeks support in a public school setting, highlighting the disparities in resources available to different families facing similar challenges.