Updated: Oct. 9, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 7, 2023
As a busy mom navigating life with three kids, I often find myself at fast food places and Target. Let’s just say, after three children, my body isn’t what it used to be—especially my bladder, which holds up for a solid 20 minutes on a good day. When nature calls, it’s coming out, no matter how hard I try to hold it in.
I’ve become adept at taking advantage of any available restroom. However, let’s be clear: I refuse to deal with a bathroom disaster in my cute floral underwear and skinny jeans.
Back in my school days, I would never dare to use the bathroom during class hours. I would hold it in, squirming until I got home. In college, living on an all-girls floor, I would wait for the bathroom to clear before letting out my “brown trout.” If someone came in, I would discreetly lift my feet so they wouldn’t see my shoes.
When I joined the corporate world, I was notorious for sneaking away to different floors just to avoid anyone thinking, “Lila has been gone a while; she must be pooping.” But those days are behind me. Now, I embrace the freedom of pooping without shame, and let me tell you, it feels liberating!
Through my many visits to public restrooms, I’ve observed a curious trend. Every time I enter and hear someone in a stall, I inevitably hear the telltale roll of toilet paper. Why do women feel the need to stop mid-poop to squeeze it back in? It’s baffling! I want to shout out, “Stop doing this for my sake! We must reclaim our right to poop when and where we please!”
Let’s be clear: holding back when your body is ready to let go is a recipe for disaster. It’s not just uncomfortable; it can lead to serious health issues like hemorrhoids.
Sure, everyone knows people with vaginas need to eat, and they also have to relieve themselves. Society is smart enough to connect those dots; they just prefer to avoid thinking about it. Enough already!
Ladies, it’s time to stop feeling embarrassed about pooping. I see you, hiding your air freshener in your purse as if anyone would assume you were brewing a latte in there. Meanwhile, do you see men rushing out of the bathroom, trying to cover up the evidence of their “big business”? No! They walk out with zero regrets while we’re in there, trying to hide our presence like we’re in some kind of “Shitting Olympics.”
Let me be clear: you can be stylish, powerful, and glamorous, and still take care of business. Every mother I know has had to multitask while managing a child on her lap, while guys take their sweet time with their phones and a quiet moment. We should be the ones bragging about our multitasking skills!
We’ve got to stop worrying about what others think of our natural bodily functions. Why should we care more about someone’s nose than our own comfort and health? When you cut a bathroom break short, it leads to all kinds of messes that nobody has time to clean up.
Women are expected to carry tampons around like it’s no big deal, yet we hold in farts until we’re in agony, all in an effort to maintain appearances. Enough with the pretense! Let your body function as it was designed to. It’s time to stop worrying about whether someone knows you’re “making a deposit” in the porcelain bank and start taking your health and comfort seriously.
After all, we clean up after everyone else. We deserve to let go of the shame and take care of our own needs.
If you’re interested in learning more about pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. And for those looking for a helpful at-home insemination kit, be sure to visit our other blog post for the details.
Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of women embracing their natural bodily functions, particularly the act of pooping, without shame or embarrassment. It highlights the societal pressures that lead women to hide their needs and urges them to prioritize their health and comfort over others’ perceptions.