I never realized how challenging it would be to maintain a façade of happiness as a partner and mother. You know that act of pretending everything is fine when it clearly isn’t?
Motherhood requires relentless effort. Since stepping into the roles of wife and mother five years ago, I’ve come to understand this truth all too well. While some individuals grow up with a clear awareness of the unequal responsibilities that often burden families, I was not one of them.
Transitioning from a carefree college lifestyle to an underappreciated wife and mother felt like losing a part of myself. Over the years, I learned to prioritize being agreeable over being genuinely happy. I’ve become less vocal about my grievances and more inclined to “go with the flow.” My family likely views these changes favorably, but deep down, I recognize that I’m just another woman caught up in a culture of self-sacrifice.
A few weeks ago, I declared enough is enough. I am finished with the act of being agreeable. I refuse to suppress my own joys for the sake of my family any longer. Moving forward, I will prioritize myself — and I genuinely don’t care what anyone thinks.
It’s challenging to pinpoint the exact moment I noticed my neglect of personal needs. This change unfolded gradually rather than all at once. Naturally, I don’t expect my life as a mother of two and a partner to resemble my past as a single young adult. However, I firmly believe we should adapt to new responsibilities without losing our true selves.
I plan to merge my pre-mom persona with the nurturing side of me, creating a balanced individual who cares for herself while still being there for others.
This isn’t an easy path for me. It’s a daunting task when those around you have either been excessively selfless or completely dismissive. There are few relatable examples in my life or even in popular culture to guide me on this journey of self-prioritization. Yet, I am confident that my decision to invest in myself will ultimately benefit my whole family.
To kick off my “me first” strategy, I’m focusing on my health, social life, and personal time in three essential ways:
- Eating More
I often get so caught up in chasing after my kids that I neglect to eat. Just today, my first meal didn’t happen until after 1 p.m. This isn’t just unhealthy; it affects my ability to produce milk as a nursing mother, which has repercussions for my baby. Skipping meals also leads to a foggy mind and short temper, making me less effective in both work and home environments. Nourishment is vital for my overall well-being. When I prioritize eating, my day flows much better. - Dancing More
Before you roll your eyes, let me explain. There are few things that elevate my mood quite like dancing. The music transports me to another realm, often surrounded by friends who share that same spiritual connection to the rhythm. Dancing isn’t just about movement; it’s about putting myself in situations that spark joy. This commitment means more girls’ nights out, travel, and celebrations—essentially, living a life that embraces joy. I’m eager to see how this joy radiates into other parts of my life. - Going Solo More
You probably see the trend here. Treating myself to a meal or catching a movie alone offers me precious silence, which is a rare commodity amidst the chaos of parenting. Instead of spending money on kid meals that end up smashed into the car seat, I can invest in experiences that fulfill me. The benefits extend beyond saving cash; taking time for myself allows for creative recharge and self-reflection, essential for ensuring my actions align with my aspirations. I refuse to let motherhood derail my dreams.
Some may argue that mothers should dedicate their lives solely to their children, but I have no desire to live that way. I believe these small adjustments can yield significant changes, and if I’m fortunate, I might inspire other women in my circle to prioritize themselves as well.
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Summary
I am committed to putting myself first and embracing the joy in my life, regardless of what others may think. By focusing on my health, enjoying dance, and taking time for myself, I aim to create a balanced existence that nurtures both me and my family.