Last weekend, I was preparing for a date night and rifling through my bathroom searching for my cherished “peachy pink” eyeshadow. Nothing compares to how it makes my eyes stand out. After a lengthy search, I discovered it in my teenage daughter’s room. I’ve repeatedly reminded her to let me know when she borrows something. It would save me from tearing apart my home looking for my favorite shirt, eyeshadow, or socks, which seem to have become a communal wardrobe for her and her friends.
Before I retrieved my beloved makeup, I stumbled upon an empty guacamole bowl on her floor, accompanied by a bag of stale corn chips that looked like they had been there for weeks. I took a deep breath—then another.
After applying my eyeshadow and returning it to my closet, I dropped the kids off with their dad and tried to shift into date mode. But first, I needed caffeine.
While waiting in line, an older man approached me and told me to smile. I imagined telling him that my mind was engulfed in a never-ending to-do list. We all know women carry the emotional and logistical weight in the household, whether single or not. I wanted to explain that I didn’t feel like smiling because the mental burden I bear often causes my resting expression to resemble that of a tulip blooming in spring. I wished he could experience just a fraction of what it’s like to juggle everything for everyone, then see how much he would feel like smiling. He reminded me of an ex-boss who once remarked, “Oh look, I see two high-beams coming at me,” as I walked to my office. I should have responded, but adulting often means biting your tongue for the sake of bills.
We are conditioned to maintain harmony and suppress our feelings. So when a stranger suggests we put on a happy face for their comfort, it’s infuriating—and it’s about time we acknowledge that anger.
We’ve reached our limit. We often feel overlooked—both at work and home—repeating ourselves only to be disregarded once more.
Later, on my date, the man insisted on walking me to my car despite my clear refusals. When he asked for a hug, I couldn’t contain my frustration. UGH.
The next morning, I returned to my daughter’s room only to find the same bowl of guacamole sitting there, alongside the stale chips. I braced myself for the sight of cockroaches joining the party—an accurate representation of the state of my home.
You know what happened next, right? Yes, I absolutely lost my cool. In the middle of the hallway, while my kids were still half-asleep, I unleashed my fury without holding back. And honestly, I don’t feel guilty about it.
My children often wonder why I seem angry all the time. To them, my occasional outbursts—after holding everything in for what feels like forever—translate to me being angry “all the time.” I won’t deny that I’m tightly wound. Just a half-hour of news, a conversation with an adult male, or finding old leftovers in my daughter’s room can send me over the edge.
I give in to that frustration, as do many moms I know. We share stories about how the world feels overwhelming, and when one of my friends opens up, every other mom in the vicinity nods in agreement, sharing that collective anger and frustration. The room vibrates as we express our exasperation over how our needs are routinely dismissed until we reach our breaking point.
Moms are upset because there’s plenty to be upset about. That anger accumulates until it boils over. It’s not necessarily a negative thing—it drives us to take action. So let’s drop the guilt surrounding our anger. This is our reality, and we’re navigating it as best we can. Sometimes that means yelling in the hallway on a Monday morning, and I’m okay with that.
For more insights into family dynamics and the emotional challenges that come with parenting, you can check out related topics on home insemination kits at Make a Mom. They provide excellent resources for understanding family planning, including the journey of those who’ve struggled with conception, such as the experience detailed here: Three Years of Trying. If you’re looking for statistics on infertility, the CDC offers great insights.
In summary, the frustration many moms feel is a direct result of the overwhelming responsibilities they shoulder, the lack of acknowledgment from those around them, and the emotional toll of daily life. It’s high time we recognize and validate that anger as a necessary response to our circumstances.