Life is filled with predictable moments. You can almost guarantee that if you wash your car, rain will follow; or that if you Google a minor ailment, you’ll convince yourself you have a serious illness. Likewise, when couples share milestones like anniversaries or Valentine’s Day, the term “best friend” often pops up.
“I married my best friend.” “I’m grateful to wake up next to my best friend.” “#Blessed with my best friend.”
While I completely understand this sentiment, I choose not to label my husband as my best friend. Doing so feels like downplaying the depth of our connection, akin to calling the ocean a pond. There are simply no words that can truly capture the bond we share.
Before you dismiss my perspective as overly dramatic, let me clarify: this isn’t about claiming my marriage is superior or that we have some extraordinary love story. We’re a regular couple who has been together for over 20 years. We bicker about trivial matters and significant issues alike, often because one of us is being stubborn (and it’s definitely not me). Life can easily distract us, and before we know it, weeks slip by without a proper date night. He knows how to push my buttons like no one else, from timing his bathroom breaks perfectly to riling me up.
But that’s where the beauty of our relationship lies. It’s not just about knowing how to irritate each other; it’s about the profound understanding we have of one another. My best friend might know I’m terrified of zombies, but my husband knows that my fear stems from an incident when I was five and watched a horror film with my older siblings.
My best friends can tell you that I hate fish, but my husband knows my social security number and the story behind the frayed stuffed bear I still keep in our bedroom. He has seen me in glamorous outfits and in sweats with unkempt hair. He’s witnessed my greatest achievements and my most vulnerable moments.
He knows how I react to various situations, the things I cherish, and the fears that haunt me. He understands the unsaid words and the emotions I struggle to articulate.
I cherish my friendships; they are essential to my happiness. We’ve shared countless laughs and created unforgettable memories. However, I’ve never faced life-altering decisions based on my friends’ experiences. I’ve never cried with them as I navigated through crises in life, nor fought alongside them to mend what seemed broken. Their advice is valuable, but it lacks the emotional weight that comes from life shared together. When I look at them, my heart doesn’t swell in the same way.
Friendships require effort, but they don’t demand the same level of commitment as a marriage. Relationships take hard work, sacrifice, and resilience. It’s about standing together when life gets chaotic and battling through the rough patches. This kind of partnership deserves a term far more significant than “friend.”
You can easily “friend” someone on social media without truly knowing them. That doesn’t even come close to the intricate, messy, yet beautiful love I share with my husband. The notion of “soulmates” doesn’t suffice either, as it implies a flawless romance that overlooks the reality of daily struggles. Our relationship is something we’ve fought for, and it’s worth more than a simplistic label.
So, until someone coins a term that does justice to our bond, I’ll stick to giving my husband a funny card, sharing a laugh, and embracing those moments that define us: far beyond mere best friends.
For those navigating similar paths, if you’re considering options for family-building, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And for further insights into at-home insemination practices, you might find our article on the at home insemination kit helpful. Understanding the complexities of fertility is crucial, especially if you’re looking into conditions like cervical insufficiency, as discussed in this guide by an authority on the subject.
Summary
The author reflects on why she doesn’t refer to her husband as her best friend, emphasizing the deeper connection and complexities of marriage compared to friendship. She highlights the unique intimacy and understanding that exists in their partnership, which transcends a simple label. Friendships are valuable, yet they lack the emotional investment and shared experiences that define a marriage.