Stop Advising Those with Depression to Just ‘Get Over It’

Lifestyle

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It was during my high school years that I first encountered misunderstanding surrounding my anxiety. A group of friends gathered for a sleepover, full of laughter and snacks, when someone suggested a late-night drive. Everyone quickly jumped at the idea, but as the excitement grew, a familiar sense of dread engulfed me. The clock was nearing midnight, and our town had a strict curfew for teens. My mind raced through a series of “what ifs”: What if we got pulled over? What if my parents found out I had broken the rules? What if we faced a flat tire on a deserted road? The possibilities seemed endless.

As my friends excitedly prepared to leave, I hesitated and voiced my reluctance to join. A friend dismissed my concerns with a casual, “Chill out!” before heading out the door. Alone, I felt the tears come; I was trapped in a whirlwind of emotions I didn’t fully understand at the time.

I was unaware that the chronic stomachaches, racing heart, and overwhelming sense of doom were all classic signs of anxiety. Instead, I accepted the labels others placed on me—a Nervous Nelly or a Goody-Goody. I cannot even begin to count the times I was told to “take a chill pill” or not worry so much. But mental illness isn’t something you can simply will away or talk yourself out of; it doesn’t work that way.

Over time, I learned that expressing my feelings only led to isolation, so I buried my worries deeper and deeper. I began avoiding situations where my anxiety could become apparent, convincing myself that hiding it was the safer, socially acceptable path. I also felt pressure from those around me who pointed out my seemingly perfect life, implying that I had no reason to struggle. My upbringing was stable; my parents were still together, and I had achieved academic success. I married my high school sweetheart, and together we built a family in a supportive community.

However, the reality is that anxiety and depression can affect anyone, regardless of their circumstances. They don’t discriminate based on one’s life situation. Genetic predispositions, brain chemistry, and past traumas can all play significant roles in the development of mental health issues.

Many women face anxiety and depression, with studies showing that women are twice as likely to experience depression compared to men. Factors like PMS, pregnancy, and even workplace stress can contribute to these struggles. It wasn’t until my thirties that I received an official diagnosis for my anxiety. After conducting research and discussing my symptoms with trustworthy friends, I finally decided to see my doctor.

Once diagnosed, I explored various treatment options. Some women find relief through medication, while others turn to supplements, exercise, or mindfulness practices. Cognitive behavioral therapy and support groups can also be beneficial. Sharing my diagnosis opened the door for others to share their own experiences, and together we created a support network that was invaluable.

Despite my efforts to be open about my anxiety, I still encountered unsolicited advice. Many would ask why I couldn’t simply toughen up or adopt a “don’t worry, be happy” mentality. If it were up to me, I would choose to live without anxiety. However, since it is part of my reality, I’ve embraced it as a part of who I am.

With influential figures like Lady Gaga and Taraji P. Henson speaking out about their mental health journeys, I’m hopeful that society is gradually becoming more compassionate. When someone shares their struggles with mental illness, they should receive understanding instead of unhelpful advice. It’s time to focus on mental health and silence the naysayers.

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In summary, mental health struggles are valid regardless of one’s circumstances. It’s crucial to support those who are battling anxiety and depression, rather than dismiss their feelings.