When a mother in Ontario initiated a petition at her child’s elementary school, I didn’t think much of it at first. However, the uproar that followed was astonishing.
This petition wasn’t about controversial topics like sex education or new math standards. No, it centered around peanut butter, and it was utterly maddening.
Jessica Matthews from Kitchener, Ontario, sought to overturn a ban on peanuts at her daughter’s school, arguing that the rule was unfair because her child is a picky eater. The ban limits her ability to pack a lunch that her daughter will eat, leaving her child hungry and fatigued by the end of the school day. Her proposed solution? To send peanut products, which her selective eater would readily consume, promising to label them carefully.
Let’s pause for a moment to absorb this. A mother is advocating for the right to send peanut products to school, fully aware that these items could pose a lethal risk to other children in the class. She feels justified in doing so, not because of any medical need, but merely because of her child’s food preferences. In essence, she is prepared to jeopardize the safety of other kids to cater to her kindergartner’s tastes.
This notion is infuriating—even as a parent of children without food allergies. As caregivers, we must advocate for our children while also supporting the well-being of all kids in our communities. We demonstrate this through simple actions, like driving carefully in school zones or avoiding behaviors that could harm children. Food allergies are not a choice; they are a serious and often terrifying medical condition. In Canada, approximately 2 in 100 children are affected by peanut allergies. If your child attends a school with 1000 students, about 20 might have a peanut allergy, some of which could be severe or life-threatening. The only way to keep these children safe is through avoidance, and as responsible adults, we should prioritize their needs by packing allergen-free lunches. This responsibility falls not just on the parents of kids with allergies, but on everyone.
Life-threatening food allergies should always take precedence over mere food preferences. Being a picky eater is a behavior, not a medical condition, and it’s certainly much easier to navigate than the risk of anaphylactic shock.
Of course, this perspective doesn’t apply to children with genuine sensory issues or those facing medical challenges related to feeding. If your child “survives” on peanut butter sandwiches and refuses to eat anything else, that’s tough. However, peanut butter can still be enjoyed at home as an after-school snack. Explore new lunch options online; your child will eventually adapt to a nut-free diet. Meanwhile, make sure they have a nutritious breakfast and some delightful snacks when they come home. They’ll be just fine.
I’ve heard many arguments from those favoring the “pro-nuts” side, suggesting that children with allergies should learn to manage their exposure to nuts since the world isn’t nut-free. After all, how will they cope in the “real world” if they are overly sheltered in elementary school?
Let’s clarify something about young children: they have limited maturity and comprehension. In Ontario, kindergarten students can be as young as 3.5 years old. My son began Junior Kindergarten at three, and let me assure you, his listening skills were not exactly stellar. No matter how caring or well-behaved a child may be, we cannot ignore their developmental limitations. If my son were allergic to peanuts, I wouldn’t be able to guarantee that he wouldn’t accidentally come into contact with them.
What if his friend had a nut allergy? Could my son eat a peanut butter sandwich and safely play with that child afterward? Absolutely not! Kids are notoriously poor at washing their hands and faces. Even if they manage to wash up after lunch, there might still be peanut residue on their faces or clothes. If you think your child can wash their hands with surgical precision, think again—they likely fall somewhere between adequate and poor in that skill set.
We also need to consider the potential for bullying through intentional exposure to allergens. Children have been known to taunt those with allergies by waving peanut products in front of them, which can be just as traumatic as being threatened with a weapon.
My kids’ school has a ban on peanuts and tree nuts—not a legal obligation, but a common practice in many provinces. Some food allergies are less severe and are not subject to bans; for instance, dairy allergies are common, yet milk is allowed. If there were a child at the school who could potentially die from exposure to milk, it would be banned as well.
While having a picky eater can be frustrating, having a child with life-threatening food allergies is a source of constant anxiety. Imagine sending your child to school each day, knowing there’s a lethal substance lurking in the building, perhaps even in their classmates’ backpacks. Would you feel reassured knowing those kids would wash their hands before interacting with your child?
Absolutely not. Yes, the world contains nuts, but we don’t allow four-year-olds to cross busy streets alone because they need guidance and protection. Similarly, we must take precautions against allergens now because children depend on adults for their safety. As they mature, we can gradually lessen those restrictions.
Never forget: no child has ever died from not having a peanut butter sandwich. If your child comes home from school tired and hungry due to the absence of their favorite lunch, I sympathize—no parent wants to see their child struggle. However, if your response is to endanger the lives of others because it inconveniences your family, consider this: your child might be hungry, but if you send nuts to school, another child may not come home at all. That should be a powerful motivator for all of us.
In summary, while picky eating is a challenge for many parents, it pales in comparison to the serious risks associated with food allergies. Advocating for the needs of our children should never come at the expense of another child’s safety. Let’s strive to create an environment where all children can thrive without fear of life-threatening reactions.
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