Recently, while leaving a professional gathering, a young girl approached me on the sidewalk, offering a box filled with handmade jewelry. She shared that her sales were to help her mother pay a phone bill. Moved by her initiative, I selected a bracelet that caught my eye and handed her some cash, encouraging her to keep the change. The blue, knotted yarn bracelet has since become a constant companion on my wrist, emblazoned with the word: FREE. This symbol serves as a daily affirmation that I no longer answer to anyone. After years of being tied to someone else, this simple reminder is helping me forge new habits and alter my mindset. Each morning, seeing that word fills me with a sense of empowerment.
While the divorce process was undeniably tough, my life has transformed in many ways. As a working parent navigating the challenges of raising children largely on my own, I’ve also discovered significant advantages to being single. Here are 21 reasons why I embrace my independence.
- I Call the Shots. In my marriage, I often deferred to my ex-husband’s preferences, from meal choices to household chores. Now, I am back in control and can make decisions that reflect my wants.
- Freedom to Indulge. I can eat whatever I desire at any hour without facing disapproving glances. While my ex introduced me to new cuisines, I love savoring my favorites—like midnight snacks of Ben & Jerry’s—without any judgment.
- Financial Independence. I no longer have to worry about unexpected expenses or overspending during shopping trips. I monitor my budget closely, ensuring my hard-earned money is spent wisely.
- No More Waiting. I used to stay up late, anxiously waiting for my ex to come home. Now, I enjoy my evenings without the stress of wondering when—or if—I’ll hear from him.
- Less Mess. Managing a household while working full-time is challenging enough without additional clutter. I appreciate how organized and tidy my home is now that I’m only responsible for my own mess.
- Flexible Planning. While my free time is limited, I can now make plans without considering anyone else’s schedule, allowing me to prioritize what matters most to me.
- Self-Acceptance. In the past, I constantly sought my ex’s approval, but now I recognize that my own opinion is what truly matters.
- Wardrobe Freedom. I can dress how I want, purchasing clothes that reflect my style, even if my budget is tight these days.
- No Criticism. I’m responsible for my actions and mistakes, but I no longer face relentless critiques from another person. My growth is my own.
- Room to Breathe. I have more physical space—not just in my home but also in my life. I appreciate the quietness of sleeping alone.
- Entertainment Choices. When the kids are asleep, I have full control over the TV remote.
- Joyful Holidays. The holidays can now be spent with my family or completely ignored if I need a break, depending on where the kids are.
- My Own Pace. I value punctuality and no longer wait for anyone else who doesn’t share that same value.
- New Romantic Possibilities. The world of dating feels expansive now. I can flirt, go out, and who knows? Perhaps I’ll find love again, though marriage isn’t on my radar right now.
- Bedtime is Mine. I can unwind and go to sleep whenever I choose, without distractions.
- Stress-Free Living. Being single brings a sense of calmness and reduces anxiety.
- Freedom of Thought. I enjoy the peace that comes from not having to argue or defend my opinions.
- Creative Pursuits. I’m free to explore my interests again, whether it’s writing, painting, or dreaming big.
- No Justifications. I’m no longer part of a team, so I don’t have to defend anyone else’s actions, including my children’s father.
- I Drive. No more white-knuckle rides in the passenger seat; I’m in control of my own journey.
- Future on My Terms. I have no regrets about my marriage; it resulted in three amazing children. My focus is on creating a bright future for us all.
For far too long, I compromised my identity in my marriage. Now, I wear my bracelet as a constant reminder of my newfound freedom and self-empowerment.
If you’re interested in exploring more about becoming a parent, be sure to check out this great resource on infertility at WomensHealth.gov. And for insights on fertility, you might enjoy our article on boosting male fertility found here. Additionally, for more knowledge on home insemination, visit IntracervicalInsemination.com.
Summary
Navigating life after divorce can be tough, but it also opens up numerous opportunities for personal growth and independence. Embracing solitude allows for financial control, the freedom to make decisions, and the chance to rediscover interests and passions. Wearing a reminder of this newfound freedom can serve as motivation to continue thriving.