I don’t mean to criticize my pre-motherhood self, but let’s be real — I was all about that “O.” You know, the big “O.” For those of you who might be shocked by my boldness, I’m talking about a truly exhilarating, sheets-grasping, pillow-screaming ORGASM. I adored sex.
Without the responsibilities of children, I was vibrant and open to a one-night stand if the right guy crossed my path. It was all about my own pleasure. Ironically, my husband was intended to be just a fleeting encounter. Yet here we are, six years and five kids later, with not a single day apart since that first night.
Are you surprised that he’s still around or that I haven’t run for the hills? You shouldn’t be. My husband, like many, understands human impulses and recognizes that women also experience the same sexual desires as men.
There’s no distinction between a man having a one-night stand and a woman doing the same. Yet somehow, women face judgment while men receive applause. Why is that? It’s the 21st century; we need to wake up and embrace this truth.
One-night stands are not about a lack of self-control; they’re about enjoying intimacy with another consenting adult without worrying about societal labels. A man who respects a woman as an equal won’t belittle her for deciding to “give it up” after a first date. If he makes her feel less than human after consensual sex, he’s not worthy of being called a man.
Speaking of which, let’s address the term “giving up the goods.” It’s not only offensive but completely misrepresents my femininity and sexuality. My body and desires are not “goods” to be bartered; they are intrinsic parts of who I am.
We need to stop the shaming of women for merely having human needs and desires. There’s nothing wrong with a consensual one-night stand, and what adults choose to do is nobody else’s business.
Please refrain from making excuses or judgments about our choices. There’s no need for justification unless I choose to provide it. Enough with the labels and gossip; not everything has a deeper meaning.
Let’s also retire the term “daddy issues” as a reason for a woman’s sexual behavior. It’s reductive and naïve. When I’m about to engage in intimacy, my father is the last thing on my mind. This stereotype needs to be put to rest.
And let’s clear up the misconception that women who engage in casual, safe sex lack self-respect. We have sexual urges too, and we shouldn’t have to suppress them. We like sex, and we want to enjoy it. Mind your own business.
Newsflash: We’re not fragile porcelain dolls, and sometimes we just want to act on our desires. So why should we wait? Some of us are content with fulfilling our urges, and that’s perfectly okay.
Throughout history, women have fought against tragedy and oppression, and we continue to battle discrimination today. So please, don’t project your judgments onto us while we strive to live our best lives.
Women of the 21st century are not obligated to lead timid lives as we once were. That era has passed; we are free to be and do as we please, including our sexual choices.
Even if my initial one-night stand with my husband hadn’t led to this life together, it wouldn’t be wrong. I’ve had other one-night stands, and I have no regrets. My husband is aware of my active past, and I’ve never faced shame for it. I was enjoying my life as a single woman, exploring my sexuality, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
So let’s celebrate our choices and stop worrying about the judgments of others.
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In summary, it’s time to embrace and respect women’s sexual autonomy. Sexual freedom is not just a man’s privilege; it’s a fundamental aspect of equality.