Whether it’s a well-loved teddy bear or a frayed old blanket that seems to have a life of its own, many parents find themselves grappling with concerns when their “big kid” still holds onto these comfort items. For my youngest, it was a beat-up dinosaur plushie, its bright colors fading to a dull hue. You likely had one too—a trusty companion from childhood, perhaps with matted fur and stuffing poking out in places. Your parents probably shared the same worries: Is this embarrassing? When will they outgrow it? Does this mean they’ll grow up with issues?
Relax, parents.
Research published in The Guardian indicates that in Western cultures, where kids often sleep independently from an early age, more than 70% of children form strong attachments to comfort objects like stuffed animals or blankets. It turns out that children perceive these items as having a special essence, much like art lovers prefer original pieces over replicas. When presented with identical objects, kids consistently choose their own.
Fortunately, most parents are supportive of their child’s attachment to these comfort items. A study in Child Psychiatry and Human Development revealed that while opinions on the appropriate age to transition away from these objects vary by race and socioeconomic status, parents generally respect their child’s need for comfort. So if your “big kid” is still clutching a blanket or dragging a teddy around, don’t sweat it; you’re not alone!
Interestingly, a 1998 study found that children who bonded with “transitional objects” often exhibited better mother-child relationships than those who did not. So cheer for that old blankie! However, the same research noted that teens still holding onto these items sometimes displayed higher levels of anxiety and other emotional challenges. This suggests that while comfort is essential, it might be time to gently encourage independence as your child matures. If you’re concerned about this, consulting a pediatrician can provide guidance.
Comfort objects can significantly help younger children. Many parents can relate to the struggle of their child wanting to bring their beloved item to daycare. A 1993 study highlighted that these objects can ease transitions and reduce anxiety in mildly stressful situations, acting as a reliable companion when parents are not around.
Cultural factors play a role, too. A 2003 study in the Infant Mental Health Journal showed that 62% of American children had comfort items, compared to just 38% of children in Japan, where co-sleeping with parents is more common. This demonstrates that children who have constant parental presence, especially at night, are less likely to develop a strong attachment to transitional objects.
I co-slept with my kids until they were two, and my two youngest developed solid attachments to their comfort items. So a child dragging around a worn teddy isn’t necessarily an indicator of parenting style.
Research also indicates that less common parenting methods, like attachment parenting, tend to produce fewer comfort object users. A 2004 study noted that mothers who practiced attachment parenting—like breastfeeding on demand and co-sleeping—reported that only 18.2% of their children used comfort objects, and those who did found it easier to wean off them. Of course, if you’d prefer your child not to rely on a blankie, you could always opt for continuous nursing—though that can come with its own set of challenges and societal judgments.
Ultimately, it’s perfectly normal for older kids to still seek comfort from their teddies or blankets. As Dr. Smith advises, it’s best to set reasonable boundaries—while it might raise eyebrows if your 8-year-old brings their blankie to the grocery store, it’s perfectly fine for bedtime. Eventually, they will likely outgrow this phase, and you can facilitate the transition by washing their comfort item more often. If you have lingering concerns as they age, consider speaking to a compassionate child psychologist for advice.
Most importantly, a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found no significant difference in insecurity levels between children with or without comfort items. So let your little ones drag their blankets or carry their teddies wherever they need. Dr. Smith reassures us that they won’t be taking their beloved item down the aisle at their wedding, so there’s no need to rush the weaning process. However, if they’re still attached at 15, it might be wise to explore this with a professional.
In summary, it’s completely natural for kids, even older ones, to have attachments to their comfort items. These objects can provide emotional support and stability. As a parent, embrace this phase and know that it’s a common experience.
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