When my friend, Jake, casually mentioned that he had flown solo with their three kids, all under eight, I couldn’t help but react. “What? No way! Are you serious?” I exclaimed, half-laughing and half-incredulous. He shared stories of the airport experience, where kind strangers lent a hand, helping him manage his eldest son and a stubborn stroller that refused to collapse. He ended his tale by saying it was a nightmare, which I completely believed.
As Jake regaled us with his adventure, I found myself praising him, telling him how amazing he was for tackling such a daunting task. I even confessed that I had never flown alone with kids and had no desire to do so. Meanwhile, our children were playing in the backyard, and my wife sat beside me with Jake’s wife at the head of the table. We had just finished dinner and were sharing laughs when I noticed something unsettling. Jake’s wife was smiling, but her gaze shifted between her husband and me, revealing a hint of discomfort. It dawned on me that she had likely experienced similar challenges alone, yet there I was, showering praise on her husband as if his feat was something extraordinary.
When I caught my wife’s disapproving look, her tightly pressed lips seemed to say, “I thought you were better than this.” It hit me hard. How many times had I seen mothers navigating airports with children in tow, looking worn out and juggling a chaotic assortment of bags while their kids begged for attention? The answer was countless. Yet, fathers flying solo with kids? That was a rarity.
This likely explained why Jake’s solo trip caught so much attention—because it simply doesn’t happen often. When it does, we tend to treat it like a heroic act, akin to rushing into a burning building to save someone. But the truth is, whether you’re a mother or a father, managing young children during travel is a challenge, and it shouldn’t be lessened based on gender.
We often celebrate fathers for doing simple things, like going grocery shopping with kids or attending school meetings, as though these actions are extraordinary. I realized I had fallen into that same trap, getting overly excited about something a mother does regularly. I thought I had moved past such biases, but there I was, caught up in the moment.
After Jake finished his story, I turned to his wife and said, “I need to apologize. What your husband did was impressive, but if you had done it, I wouldn’t have reacted this way. That’s not right, and I’m really sorry.”
While my confession took Jake by surprise, I could see a glimmer of appreciation in his wife’s eyes.
This moment highlighted a crucial aspect of parenting: we need to recognize when our praise is influenced by gender. Sure, managing children at the airport alone deserves recognition, but if we’re going to applaud fathers for such feats, we must equally celebrate mothers, who are the true champions of travel.
Next time you spot a mother juggling kids at the airport, offer to lend a hand or give her a high five. And do the same for fathers too. Everyone deserves encouragement because parenting is a challenging journey for all.
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In summary, the key takeaway is that we need to balance our praise for parents, recognizing the hard work all caregivers put in, regardless of gender.