Let’s be real: my child is a natural night owl. He’s never been able to hit the hay before 9 p.m. It’s just not in his nature.
When he was a baby, trying to establish a sleep routine felt like an uphill battle. I spent weeks stressing and crying over it, only to eventually throw my hands up in defeat and go with the flow. It became clear that he was more comfortable staying up later, and I found that putting him to bed at night was a bit smoother when I stopped forcing an early sleep schedule on him. Admittedly, I relate to him—I’m a night owl too. I can’t fathom how some parents can tuck their kids in by 7:30 p.m.; that’s just not our lifestyle.
During his toddler years, I worked as a babysitter, and he tagged along. With my work schedule in the afternoons, a regular nap time was out of the question. He was always so curious about his surroundings that napping on the go was nearly impossible. I tried to get him to rest when we arrived at the homes of the children I babysat, but he was too busy enjoying playtime to sleep.
All of that activity meant that by the time we headed home, he was completely wiped out. If he napped late in the day, there was no way he was going to bed at a reasonable hour. I accepted that this was the trade-off we had to make for his busy lifestyle. Sure, having a few hours to myself before bedtime would have been nice, but I knew this phase wouldn’t last forever.
Well, I was partly right. I eventually stopped working afternoons, but by that point, his sleep habits were already established. After a year of late naps, his body was conditioned to stay up late, and bedtime crept later and later despite my attempts to change it. If everyone else was still awake, he wanted to be too.
For a significant period, he was going to bed in the middle of the night. Those early mornings for me became a struggle, especially on days when I’d spend hours trying to get him to sleep, only to realize I’d have to wake up in less than an hour for work. It was tough, but I knew it would take time to adjust things.
When he eventually stopped napping, it became easier to get him to sleep before midnight. Our cross-country move, which shifted our time zone by three hours, didn’t hurt either. However, even after that, we didn’t magically shift to a schedule where a 7:00 p.m. bedtime felt feasible. His father works days, and since we’re not together, their time together is limited to the evenings after his shifts.
When I enrolled him in preschool, the only slots available were for late-afternoon sessions, which meant he didn’t get home until around 7 p.m. After that, we still had to squeeze in dinner, snacks, and bath time. There’s no way I could fit all that into a single hour.
Now, I try to enforce a bedtime that typically falls between 9:00 and 9:30 p.m., unless we’re out or I’m not home. While I do allow some flexibility, I aim to have him asleep by midnight, mainly because he turns into a little bundle of nonsense when he’s overtired. For some, this may seem unusually late for a 4-year-old, but since there are no early obligations in our schedule, it works perfectly for us. Plus, I’m a night person myself, so I still get a few hours of peace to unwind or catch up on work that I can’t tackle while he’s awake. He averages between 10 to 12 hours of sleep nightly, and even if he had to wake up early, he’d still be well-rested.
People often ask me, “What will happen when he starts school?” Honestly, we’ll figure that out when the time comes. He’s adaptable, so I’m confident he’ll adjust just fine. Until then, he continues to be my little night owl.
For more insights into parenting, check out this post about at-home insemination kits for those considering starting a family. And for tips on introducing loveys to babies, this resource provides helpful information. If you’re curious about fertility options, the Cleveland Clinic offers an excellent podcast on IVF and fertility preservation.
Summary
Navigating bedtime routines can be challenging, especially when your child is a confirmed night owl. This article explores the author’s experience with their son’s late bedtime, the adjustments made over the years, and the acceptance of their unique family schedule. Despite the unconventional hours, both the parent and child find a rhythm that suits their lifestyle, with recognition that routines can adapt over time.