I recently marked a significant milestone: one full year of sobriety. That’s 365 days of making conscious choices, battling temptations, and staying the course. Yet, even in sobriety, I bear the label of an alcoholic and an addict. I have relied on, and continue to rely on, the kindness of others to navigate this journey.
As I sipped my morning coffee from a mug boldly proclaiming “SOBER AF,” I came across a Twitter thread initiated by @johnsmom. In it, the author highlighted the dissonance of how society showers support on high-profile figures like Demi Lovato while casting judgment on those of us who grapple with addiction far from the limelight.
Demi has faced criticism for her relapse, which is sadly typical behavior from some people, but at the same time, she has also received a wave of public encouragement. It’s crucial that we redirect that compassion towards every individual struggling with addiction, especially those of us who often remain hidden under the weight of stigma and shame.
Many people overlook the fact that addiction is a struggle faced by real individuals—people with genuine feelings, stories, and aspirations. While we may be imperfect and bruised, we are not beyond repair. There is goodness in all of us, but we require support. We need others to dispense with their judgments and fears, replacing them with kindness.
When I came to terms with my inability to control my drinking, I realized that my issue wasn’t merely a lack of willpower. I had to let go of the illusion of control, a realization that initially felt insurmountable. Accepting my alcoholism made me feel as though I had lost my humanity; I no longer saw myself as someone battling a disease but rather as the embodiment of that disease itself.
Fortunately, amidst my fears, discomfort, and self-recrimination, I found a network of support. Friends, family, therapists, and even online acquaintances countered the negative narratives my mind wanted to spin with affirmations of truth that I am still learning to accept.
There is a prevalent misconception about addicts, especially those of us who don’t grace the silver screen or make headlines. When people think of an “alcoholic,” they often conjure images of a homeless person or an abusive partner, while the term “drug addict” evokes thoughts of worthless junkies. Society tends to assume that an addict’s life is one of self-inflicted chaos. But we are everywhere—functioning yet suffering, successful yet in pain. Many love an alcoholic without realizing the disease behind the facade; they see someone who simply enjoys drinking.
Take, for example, Jenna Fields, a remarkable woman who shares her journey as a mother and recovering addict through her blog, Fields of Recovery. She recently addressed the criticism aimed at Demi Lovato in the wake of her overdose, emphasizing that it’s not solely about Lovato but about the stigma surrounding addiction as a whole. Jenna urged everyone to choose love over hate, reminding us that life can be rebuilt after addiction and that hope is available for all.
When I first experimented with drinking in high school, it wasn’t to fit in; it was to escape into a state of oblivion. I turned to substances to quiet my racing thoughts and anxiety, hoping to find solace. Even as I pursued therapy and relied on the love of friends and family, I still sought refuge in alcohol. My addiction was never about wanting to harm myself or others; it was about numbing my painful emotions and anxieties.
My genetic predisposition to addiction, compounded by experiences of trauma, led me into a secret life filled with shame. Addiction is not a choice, but I learned that through honesty and support, I have the power to choose sobriety. This choice is incredibly challenging some days, and my past failures weighed heavily on me. However, the unwavering support of those who believed in me helped me keep trying.
When celebrities openly discuss their struggles with addiction, the public often rallies behind them with empathy, viewing them as tortured souls under immense pressure. Yet, addiction is a struggle that knows no boundaries. Famous addicts are not inherently more deserving of compassion; their experiences should not be romanticized.
While I’m grateful that Demi has a support system, we must extend the same love to all who face addiction. I took responsibility for my addiction, but the support I received lifted me. A sober life requires the gift of compassion. In moments of despair, you can be the light that guides someone out of darkness.
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Summary
The importance of extending compassion to all individuals battling addiction is emphasized, noting that while public figures like Demi Lovato receive support, everyday addicts often face stigma. The article reflects on personal experiences with addiction, highlights the need for understanding, and calls for a collective approach to supporting those in need.