Trigger Warning: Child Loss
We have always kept the details of Ava’s tragic passing private for many reasons. Primarily, it has been such an unimaginable shock that discussing it still feels surreal. However, by sharing her story, I hope to raise awareness and potentially save lives. Please, share her story and remind everyone that drowning can occur in mere seconds.
On Sunday, April 22, the day began like any other. We had attended a concert the night before and slept in later than usual. My partner, Tom, had a few errands to run, including picking up treats for our son Ben’s birthday celebration the next day. I stayed home with the kids, who were playing outside near the pool. Ava was not in the pool; I was certain she would never venture in.
I frequently moved between indoors, folding laundry and taking care of things, and outside to check on the children. I had ordered lunch through a delivery service and decided to go inside briefly to prepare some Easy Mac for Ava. At 1:04 p.m., I sent Tom a text. Just a minute or two later, Ben came in, asking me to come outside. I replied, “Sure, just let me finish this Easy Mac.”
He didn’t sound alarmed; he didn’t seem to understand the urgency of the situation. How often do we hear our children call for us from another room, and we respond, “Just a minute”? How many times do they play in a fenced backyard, and we think a brief pause is harmless? I wish more than anything I could turn back time and go outside right away, but it felt just like every other time he had called me.
A minute later, he asked me again to come outside, and I finally agreed. As I stepped outside, I was met with the horrifying sight of Ava face down in the pool. My immediate thought was disbelief—this can’t be happening! I pulled her from the water and started CPR. She began to vomit, prompting me to flip her over and attempt the Heimlich maneuver. Realizing I needed help, I screamed for assistance. A neighbor quickly jumped the fence and took over CPR while I dashed inside to call 911 at 1:09 p.m. Paramedics arrived, and Ava was rushed to the hospital. It was a living nightmare, a surreal experience. I called Tom, and he met us at the hospital. Frantic and praying, we were called back to see Ava, where we heard the devastating words, “Someone call it.”
“Time of death: 1:38 p.m.”
It felt like an out-of-body experience. Just 34 minutes prior, Ava was alive, and now she was gone. She hadn’t been swimming; somehow, she must have slipped, lost consciousness, and fallen into the pool. We learned she could have drowned in less than 30 seconds if she was unconscious. You read stories like this and think it won’t happen to you. But it can.
The truth is, drowning can happen in an instant. NEVER leave children unattended around a pool. Don’t think you can step away for just a moment to use the bathroom, grab snacks, or prepare lunch. I felt secure knowing Ava wouldn’t venture into the pool.
Did you know that most drownings occur when a child is not actively swimming? Please talk to your friends and family about pool safety. Share this post to raise awareness and emphasize that it can happen to anyone. Let’s work together to save lives. Never, ever leave your children unattended around a pool, even for a few seconds.
Ava was the epitome of a little girl, loving all things beautiful—from her hair to her dresses and shoes. The day before her passing, she came into the bathroom and asked, “What are you doing, Mommy?” I replied, “Putting on my makeup.” She then asked, “Can I have some too?” I lifted her up and applied a little makeup, and her face lit up with joy. I will never again have the chance to share those mommy-daughter moments with her. We not only lost Ava but also the entire future we envisioned for her.
I wouldn’t wish this heartache on anyone. It is a relentless nightmare from which I keep hoping to awaken, but I know that won’t happen.
Please help spread the message about water safety. By sharing Ava’s story, I hope to prevent other parents from experiencing the same heartbreak and, in turn, save lives. I want to emphasize again: Ava did not drown because she couldn’t swim. She drowned because she was left alone for just a few minutes. Please, please tell everyone that even if your child is an excellent swimmer, they can still fall, lose consciousness, and drown. You can NEVER be too cautious. NEVER leave your children unattended, even for a second, when they are near a pool.
This article was originally published on July 27, 2018.
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Summary
Drowning can occur in mere seconds, and it is crucial to never leave children unattended near pools. Ava’s story serves as a heartbreaking reminder of the urgency of water safety. It highlights the importance of vigilance and the need for parents to recognize that even the most capable swimmers can face unforeseen dangers. By sharing these experiences, we can raise awareness and help prevent similar tragedies.