Navigating a friend’s divorce can be tricky. Here are some things to avoid saying, along with more supportive alternatives.
What to Avoid Saying
- “You can always reconcile with him.”
Why would I want to return to someone who represents so much pain in my life? - “I know someone who divorced and then remarried multiple times!”
Sounds like a legal nightmare that kept their lawyers busy, not a glowing endorsement. - “Look at your aunt. She divorced and ended up happy with her second husband!”
Sure, but I’ve seen that relationship have its share of ups and downs. It wasn’t the fairytale everyone imagined. - “At least you have kids. Some people in your situation don’t.”
True, but that doesn’t lessen my heartache. My biggest worry is whether I’m failing my kids by not keeping the family together. The challenges of co-parenting have been overwhelming, and I’m often left questioning my role as a “good enough mom.”
Instead, Consider Saying
- “Prioritize yourself.”
It’s essential to refocus that energy onto your own well-being. What do you truly need right now? How can you cultivate inner peace and success? This might be hard, especially if you’ve been busy trying to mend the relationship. - “Your kids will be okay.”
They will thrive if you take care of yourself first. A strong mom knows that self-care is vital before caring for others. - “This journey will be tough.”
You’ll experience a range of emotions, from happiness to doubt and sadness. Remember, you’re progressing through it, gaining strength and wisdom along the way, even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes. - “Lean on your support system.”
Trust those friends and family who stand by you. It’s eye-opening to see who really supports you during this time, and some may surprise you. Not everyone can handle your situation, and that’s okay. New connections can emerge that offer genuine support.
Additional Resources
If you’re looking for resources on family building options, check out this excellent guide on Resolve. And for those interested in fertility, consider exploring these supplements that might help. Also, be sure to see this feature on BBC’s Health Check TV for more insights from experts in the field.
Conclusion
In summary, when supporting a friend through divorce, avoid clichés and instead offer genuine encouragement. Emphasize self-care, provide reassurance about their children, and remind them that they’re not alone in this process.