As someone who has delved into the realm of parenting for some time, it’s not uncommon for me to be approached for advice aimed at new dads. However, I often feel hesitant to speak on behalf of all fathers. After all, if you were to consult some of my online critics, you’d think I have no business offering guidance at all.
Nonetheless, I do have a few nuggets of wisdom to share. One standout piece of advice is to make love a verb. You can feel love in your heart all day long, but it’s the actions you take that truly convey it.
When a new baby arrives, showing your love means maximizing your paternity leave to bond with the baby and support your partner. It involves taking initiative to help out, even in small ways. It’s about being present and actively engaged.
But the reality is, I’m still on my parenting journey and constantly learning. In fact, one of the best ways to grow as a dad is to listen to mothers. So, rather than solely sharing my perspective, I reached out to some moms to gather their insights on what they truly need from dads.
- Capture the Moment: “Always take the photo. Moms are often behind the camera, so let her be in the frame too. Snap a candid moment with the kids—it’ll mean a lot to her.”
- Be Proactive: “Don’t wait for her to ask for help. Change that diaper while she catches some Z’s. Toss a load of laundry in. Snuggle the baby while she enjoys a shower.”
- Shift Your Mindset: “If your partner is out and you’re home with the kids, don’t refer to it as ‘babysitting.’ It’s parenting, plain and simple. You don’t need a medal for caring for your own children.”
- Avoid the Tiredness Race: “Everyone is exhausted. No need to compete over who’s more tired. If you’re not comfortable handling the baby, contribute by tidying up around the house. A hands-on dad is incredibly attractive.”
- Little Gestures Count: “When our daughter was small and my husband returned to work, he started packing my lunch alongside his. It was a thoughtful way to ensure I had decent food without the hassle of preparing it while juggling a fussy baby.”
- Encourage Breaks: “Many new moms feel the pressure to do everything. Tell her you’re taking the baby for a bit so she can recharge. Often, she wants help but won’t ask for it.”
- You Matter Too: “You are just as vital as mom is. Step up! Cook dinner, do the laundry, or give her a hug. Fill her drink and uplift her spirit.”
- Respect Her Space: “Some moms may need a period without physical touch. It’s totally normal and doesn’t reflect on you.”
- Maximize Family Leave: “Utilize all the family leave you can. Be there for your partner—you’ll regret spending that time on errands or socializing.”
- Hormonal Changes Are Real: “Post-pregnancy, hormonal fluctuations can be intense. Offer understanding and support during this time.”
Honestly, I would have appreciated this advice 11 years ago when I first embarked on fatherhood. None of this guidance is overly complex, yet everything feels like a monumental task when you’re a new parent.
So, to all expectant fathers out there, take a deep breath. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed. Embrace this advice—I’m convinced it would have made my early parenting days far easier for both my partner and me.
For those interested in family planning, consider reading more about home insemination at Make a Mom’s CryoBaby kit, and check out Intracervical Insemination’s guide for valuable insights on fertility treatments. Additionally, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, being a new dad is a blend of challenges and joys. By being proactive, supportive, and present, you can navigate this exciting journey with confidence.