In today’s world, there’s a growing consensus that the culture of chivalry is outdated. Women, let’s talk about the unwritten rules that come with compliments from men. If you’ve ever found yourself on the receiving end of a compliment from a man, you might recognize the scenario: a man, often labeled as A Very Helpful Guy™, swoops in to save you from what he perceives as a poor choice, like an ill-fated lipstick color.
Rebecca Stone, who recently shared her experience on social media, highlights this phenomenon. While casually shopping for makeup, she was approached by a man eager to share his “expert” opinion. Many women can relate to this experience—when we accept compliments, it often triggers an unexpected reaction from men. Instead of appreciation, some men may retract their compliments or respond with hostility. This pattern is well-documented and disheartening.
Rebecca noted that the reactions to her tweets ranged from supportive to downright aggressive. “I’ve received plenty of encouragement,” she remarked, “but it’s fascinating to see how upset some men get.” She explained that these men often lash out when confronted about toxic behaviors, mistaking a critique of their actions as a personal affront. In fact, she experienced harassment online, with some individuals tracking her down on Instagram to voice their anger. “It’s a harsh reality that women speaking out often face retaliation from those who are guilty of the behavior in question,” she shared.
This is troubling, considering how prevalent these experiences are for women everywhere. If a man truly means the compliment he gives, shouldn’t he be pleased when a woman confidently agrees? The answer lies in the remnants of chivalry culture, which expects women to be modest and self-deprecating. We’re often conditioned to respond to compliments with shyness and gratitude, even when the intention behind the compliment may be less than sincere. Men sometimes use compliments as a tool to demand our attention and validation, rather than expressing genuine kindness.
Ultimately, women must have the freedom to respond in whatever way feels right to them, without worrying about bruising a fragile male ego. Whether it’s a gracious acceptance or a confident acknowledgment of one’s worth, the choice should be theirs.
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In summary, the way women respond to compliments from men can reveal much about lingering societal expectations. While chivalry may be fading, the reactions it provokes are still very real. Women should have the autonomy to engage with compliments on their terms without fear of backlash.