My partner and I have received an invitation to a wedding this summer at a stunning ski resort nestled in the Green Mountains of Vermont. While we reside in Vermont, the venue is about an hour and a half away. We plan to book a room at the resort and enjoy an overnight stay. Summer in Vermont is breathtaking, and any chance to escape to the mountains is welcomed—particularly when it’s to celebrate the marriage of two dear friends.
But here’s the best part: Our children are not invited. In fact, they’re staying home, and I genuinely appreciate that. (Honestly, it might even be better than watching my friends tie the knot.)
I’ve never understood why some people get offended by “adults only” weddings. When you receive an invitation to someone’s special day, that alone is a privilege. You made the guest list! They are investing money into your experience—providing food and drinks for you to enjoy. Yes, you might have to cover travel and a gift, but being invited to such an important occasion should be seen as an honor. If your children aren’t included, it’s time to accept that with grace.
Remember, it’s not your wedding, your day, or your decision. The couple has dedicated countless hours, resources, and mental energy to curate their perfect day. Here’s a reality check: Their wedding is NOT about you.
You may not be aware of the reasons behind the “Adults Only Affair” line on the invitation. You don’t know the couple’s budget or the vision they have for a flawless celebration. Additionally, the venue may not be suitable for children, and even if it were, the decision is still theirs to make.
The couple may be concerned about the possibility of your child disrupting the ceremony with giggles or tantrums during tender moments like their first dance. They want to savor the joy of their day without worrying about managing someone else’s child. They’ll have plenty of time to deal with their own children in the future; let them enjoy this blissful moment without distractions.
When planning their wedding, the last thing these couples should be worried about is your feelings regarding your children. Sure, they want you to feel valued for being part of this milestone, but your annoyance over not being able to bring your kids shouldn’t add to their stress.
Of course, many weddings do welcome children, and I’ve attended both types—ceremonies with and without kids. Interestingly, my fondest memories of weddings don’t involve children. True, the best wedding I attended was when my partner was pregnant with our first child, but our baby was calm and content during the vows.
“No kid” weddings aren’t solely about the couple; they can be a relief for parents as well. Let’s face it, no one wants to dress up only to worry about their child ruining the decor or making noise during speeches. Plus, nobody wants to leave early because their child has turned into a tired, cranky monster before dessert.
Consider this: If you don’t want to attend a wedding that doesn’t accommodate your children, you can use it as a valid excuse to skip out. You know the types of weddings I mean—your friendly co-worker who is pleasant at work but not really a friend, that distant college acquaintance you haven’t spoken to in years, or a second cousin who insists on a black-tie affair that will cost you a fortune.
You can easily say, “Oh no! Unfortunately, we can’t make it. Our babysitter is unavailable, or we have repairs needed at home.” Just like that, you have a perfect reason to avoid an event you weren’t excited about in the first place.
If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to a wedding that doesn’t welcome children, that’s just the way things go. Embrace it! I understand that finding a babysitter can be a challenge, but it’s worth it. Consider a babysitter exchange with another friend. Not only will you enjoy a night out, but you’ll also have the opportunity to rekindle the romance with your partner. Weddings are a celebration of love, so leave the kids at home and enjoy each other’s company. You might even find your evening turns out to be quite memorable in other ways too.
In the end, kid-free weddings are a blessing in disguise. If you wish to attend a friend or family member’s wedding where children aren’t included, you have two options: Leave the kids behind or politely decline. Personally, I’m eagerly looking forward to attending this wedding.
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Summary:
Weddings without children can be a source of frustration for some, but they should be viewed as a celebration of love and a chance for adults to enjoy a special day free from distractions. Couples deserve to celebrate without worry, and guests should embrace the opportunity for a night out without kids. If you find yourself invited to an adults-only event, it’s a chance to reconnect with your partner and relish the joy of attending a wedding.