As summer approaches, many families are eagerly anticipating the end of the school year. Parents like myself, balancing hectic schedules and the emotional needs of our children, often find themselves torn between excitement and concern. While older kids look forward to late mornings and adventures, my youngest daughter, Emma, faces the summer months with unease.
At almost 7 years old, Emma experiences significant anxiety, especially when it comes to the unpredictability of summer. While her siblings envision carefree days filled with friends and impromptu fun, the absence of structure fills her with dread. For Emma, the thought of an open schedule can lead to overwhelming anxiety. The concept of spontaneity is a source of discomfort rather than joy, and her worries manifest in physical symptoms. Last summer, she even developed hives that persisted for weeks, a clear sign of stress.
Unlike most kids who embrace summer freedom, Emma finds the transition from the structured environment of school to the more relaxed pace of summer to be daunting. She longs for predictability and routine, and the unknown causes her mind to race with “what-if” scenarios. Questions about missing breakfast if she wakes up late, forgetting essentials on trips, or not knowing her camp counselor only exacerbate her anxiety. These are not just innocent curiosities; they stem from a deeper fear of the unknown, leading to heightened emotional distress.
The challenge of managing Emma’s anxiety is compounded by the fact that her worries are persistent. Unlike typical childhood fears—like separation anxiety or fear of thunderstorms—her ongoing anxiety about day-to-day activities can be exhausting for both of us. Navigating these feelings often requires careful dialogue to validate her concerns without escalating them, sometimes taking longer than expected.
For example, after picking her up from an art class recently, it took over 25 minutes for Emma to express her worry about a specific crafting material. This interaction occurred during the school year when routines were more predictable, highlighting how much more difficult the summer transition could be for her.
To ease her anxiety during the summer, I strive to minimize transitions. Enrolling her in a single day camp for several consecutive weeks with the same group provides her with a sense of stability. Each week, we review the schedule together, outlining what to expect, which helps to alleviate some of her fears.
Travel plans add another layer of complexity. With two trips on the horizon, I prepare Emma well in advance, discussing what she can expect while also maintaining familiarity in new environments. It’s heartbreaking to see her struggle with the very season that should be about fun and relaxation. I want her to enjoy the simple pleasures of summer, like indulging in popsicles or running through the sprinkler without anxiety clouding her joy.
While I cannot eliminate her fears entirely, I aim to create a safe space where she can express her feelings. I hope to guide her toward managing her anxiety more effectively, encouraging her to take small steps outside her comfort zone. In doing so, I hope Emma can embrace more of what summer has to offer, including the delightful chaos of messy mud pies.
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As summer approaches, let’s continue to foster understanding and support for our children facing anxiety, ensuring they can enjoy the season to its fullest.