I’ve been there. I’ve uttered those words about my children when they were infants. I confidently proclaimed it during their toddler years. I boldly declared it as they entered preschool and elementary school. I insisted with unwavering conviction throughout their middle school years, and I shamelessly said it when they stepped into high school: “My kid would never do that.”
I repeated this phrase frequently, perhaps because I was blissfully unaware of the realities of parenting, or maybe I was naive enough to believe that my children were immune to the kinds of mistakes other kids make. After all, I considered myself a great mom, and great moms don’t raise kids who engage in reckless behavior or embarrassing antics. They raise perfect, well-behaved children who never leave them gasping in shock, asking, “What were you thinking?!”
But then reality hit hard. I experienced moments that left me mortified and questioning my worth as a mother, and I regretted ever uttering those fateful words.
To all the parents of straight-A honor roll students, I urge you to reconsider that mindset. It’s easy to observe life from your comfortable vantage point and believe your family is somehow shielded from the trials other parents face. It’s tempting to casually dismiss another child’s mistakes while saying, “My kid would never do that.”
This belief is a dangerous illusion. Kids, by nature, will make mistakes; they are still developing their judgment. Adults often struggle with decision-making too, yet we expect our children to navigate complex choices without faltering.
You might be one of the lucky few who has raised a seemingly flawless child, but if you’re like many of us striving to be the best parents possible, you’ll eventually find yourself staring at your teenager in disbelief, exclaiming, “You did what?!”
Take comfort in knowing that some of the most valuable lessons arise from significant missteps. Even the most diligent and well-mannered children will eventually do something that surprises you, often with little correlation to how you’ve raised them.
If this resonates with you, and you’ve already eliminated “My kid would never do that” from your vocabulary, I encourage you to share your experiences with other parents. Let’s move away from the façade of perfection and engage in honest conversations about the challenges we all face. Discuss with your peers the importance of allowing children to make mistakes, as this fosters resilience and growth.
Remind those who are yet to experience the tumult of adolescence that struggles can indeed happen in their families too. As a community, we should strive to support those facing difficulties rather than judging them from a distance.
Realistically, every parent is just one decision away from being “that family” with “that kid.” And those families deserve compassion and understanding. Instead of asserting, “Not my kid,” let’s shift the conversation to, “That could have been my child. How can I help?”
This article is part of our ongoing exploration of parenting challenges and is a valuable resource for those navigating similar experiences. For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Kindbody.
In summary, avoid declaring that your child is incapable of making mistakes. Recognize that parenting is fraught with challenges, and embracing the unpredictability of childhood can lead to growth for both you and your children.