As I entered the world of motherhood, I quickly discovered that numerous aspects of parenting were overlooked in the well-meaning advice exchanged during baby showers. One of the most surprising revelations was how much time I would devote to discussing and fretting over my child’s bowel movements. Yes, the color, texture, and frequency of baby poop became a frequent topic of conversation—who would have thought? What I also didn’t anticipate was that being an engaged mom would often lead to me being an unreliable employee.
I understood that taking occasional time off work would be part of the deal, but I had no idea just how many days I would end up missing. Spoiler alert: It’s quite a few. The struggle with absenteeism is compounded by my tendency toward perfectionism. I refer to myself as a recovering perfectionist, as motherhood leaves little room for that mindset. The sooner one acknowledges this reality, the smoother the journey becomes. It took me nearly a year to relinquish my control-freak tendencies and accept the unpredictable chaos of being a mom.
Though I strive for excellence in all areas of my life, I find that I am a good mom about 80% of the time, while the remaining 20% is decidedly average. Unfortunately, being a devoted mother sometimes comes with the cost of being a less reliable employee. This creates a dilemma, as I wish to excel in both roles, but when push comes to shove, my children always take precedence. Work is important to me, but motherhood is my primary focus.
I don’t enjoy being perceived as flaky. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I often find myself having to cancel plans with colleagues due to my responsibilities as a parent. Between school events, illnesses (oh, the sick days!), and medical appointments, my attendance can be sporadic. When I’m at work, I give it my all because I truly enjoy my job and want to contribute meaningfully. However, I cannot prioritize work over my children’s needs, and I refuse to.
Another surprise on this motherhood journey is how frequently children fall ill. I understand they are building their immune systems, but the sheer number of viruses they encounter is astounding. It would be helpful if pediatricians had a punch card system—I’ve certainly visited enough times to deserve some kind of reward! From strep throat to hand, foot, and mouth disease, my kids seem to contract every possible ailment. While I loathe missing work during these times, I must be there for my children, even if it risks my job. Finding someone to care for my sick kids is no easy task, and they will always be my top priority.
I am fortunate to have a solid support network when emergencies arise, but often, I miss work for events I want to attend. Whether it’s field trips, class celebrations, or sports games, these experiences are integral to my role as a mother—moments I’ve always envisioned sharing with my kids.
I recognize not all mothers have the flexibility to take time off, especially when financial stability is at stake. Motherhood manifests in various ways, and each of us makes sacrifices for our families. While I may be seen as unreliable, my commitment to being a good mom is unwavering, even when it means stepping back from my job responsibilities.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and fertility, consider checking out our post on couples’ fertility journeys and intracervical insemination. Additionally, if you’re looking for more information on fertility factors, this resource provides excellent guidance. For those interested in pregnancy week by week, the March of Dimes offers comprehensive resources.
In summary, balancing motherhood and employment is a challenging endeavor. While I strive to excel in both roles, my children will always come first. As I continue to navigate this journey, I embrace the messiness of being a parent while acknowledging that sometimes, being a good mom means being a less-than-ideal employee.