Updated: May 30, 2018
Originally Published: May 27, 2018
It’s a serene Sunday afternoon, and I find myself outside, basking in the warmth of the sun while my children frolic in the yard. This uncomplicated scene has become one of my cherished pastimes. As someone who thrives in the comfort of home, being with my family is paramount. Although we aren’t engaged in any extraordinary activities this weekend, sometimes the act of doing nothing is itself extraordinary. I wholeheartedly embrace nothingness. My family and I strive to indulge in it as frequently as possible.
Recently, it feels as though busyness has turned into a competition; if you’re not perpetually occupied or completely drained, you must be doing something wrong. Why aren’t your children enrolled in at least 30 different activities? Aren’t you concerned about their social lives?
Let’s be clear, Carol—my kids are still in elementary school. They aren’t campaigning for a political office; they don’t require an over-scheduled social calendar. They interact with their peers daily at school, which, by my standards, makes them quite social.
While they do participate in some extracurricular activities, we make a conscious effort to keep them at a manageable level. I have no interest in filling our evenings with endless practices, social engagements, and volunteer commitments. I refuse to develop a chronic case of “bleacher butt” from attending tournament after tournament.
The landscape of youth sports seems to lack a middle ground. You are either traveling to weekend tournaments or opting out entirely. What about the children who wish to play sports but don’t want it to dominate their lives? Why must it be an all-or-nothing scenario? Weekly tournaments? Constant traveling? Are they playing baseball or embarking on a world tour with Justin Timberlake? I simply don’t want that for them—or for myself.
I have no issue with families who embrace this lifestyle and thrive in it; to each their own. However, there is value in savoring life’s simplicity and dedicating ample time to doing nothing. This “nothing” is rich with opportunities for connection—time to read a good book, try a new recipe, build a fort in the woods, or ride bikes until sunset. It encompasses taking naps and indulging in late-night ice cream runs. It’s about relinquishing the rigid schedule and genuinely enjoying life. Without a timetable, we are free to choose how we spend our time, whether together or apart.
Both my husband and I work outside the home, while our kids attend public school. As it stands, we are engaged for 40 hours a week, and our evenings swiftly blur into homework, dinner, and bedtime routines. We crave unstructured, unscheduled time to unwind, and I intend to make the most of it. I am discerning about our social commitments—I don’t feel compelled to accept every invitation that comes our way. When faced with the choice between attending a social event for an acquaintance or spending quality time with my family, family wins, hands down.
I often wish for more hours in the day to accomplish everything, but the reality is that it’s simply not feasible. Trying to do it all can be exhausting for everyone involved. I won’t enroll my children in dance, soccer, baseball, karate, and piano lessons just to keep pace with others. There’s no reason to cram every experience into the early years of their lives. Kids need the freedom to explore and enjoy their childhood. I want them to be able to pursue all their interests, not just a select few. They should be able to discover their passions at their own pace. Perhaps that passion will lead them to weekend tournaments and evening practices in their favorite sport; if that’s their choice, I’ll fully support them, but I won’t pressure them into it.
I once read that there are only 936 Saturdays from the moment your child is born until they head off to college. While that sounds like a substantial number, time has a way of slipping away faster than we anticipate. It’s crucial to spend this precious time doing what brings joy and fulfillment to our lives. For my family, that means cherishing as many weekends as possible by doing nothing.
This piece was originally published on May 27, 2018.
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In conclusion, amidst the chaos of modern parenting, it’s essential to prioritize quality family time and embrace the beauty of simplicity.