Dear New Partner,
There are important aspects of my past that I feel you should be aware of as we move forward together.
Engaging in a relationship after enduring abuse is a complex and challenging journey. It often feels uncomfortable, and I can find myself tensing up at unexpected moments, especially when you reach out physically. This reaction stems from an ingrained uncertainty about what those moments may lead to. I’m still navigating the process of understanding that it’s okay to question circumstances, and this learning curve is gradual.
I have deep feelings for you.
Expressing this is a struggle for me, as accepting these emotions is equally daunting. Past wounds are still fresh, and the fear of vulnerability looms large. Despite this, I want you to know how profoundly I care for you. I hesitated to let myself fall in love, trying to maintain a safe distance, but I’ve gradually opened up. Each day, I choose to embrace my love for you, and that realization is incredibly sweet.
Thank you for your support.
Your patience as I navigate my healing has been invaluable. You’ve shown me that I am worthy, regardless of my anxieties and uncertainties. I appreciate your comfort during my moments of doubt, and your willingness to hold me even when I struggle to reciprocate. Your awareness of my tendencies to withdraw and your gentle reminders to stay grounded mean the world to me. I’m grateful for your insistence that I remain present because I truly want to.
I desire a future with you.
Being in your calming presence brings me joy. I recognize that I might push you away, but my intention is to welcome you into my life. Understanding that my life has improved with you in it is a realization I’m slowly accepting. I want to dismantle the barriers I’ve built, brick by brick, allowing you access to my heart. Each glimpse of you through the cracks I create reassures me that we can build something beautiful together.
I apologize for my hesitations.
I know there are moments when my trust wavers, and I understand your frustration. I often find myself anticipating your anger as a way to gauge how to react based on my past experiences. Acknowledging that you are not a reflection of my previous trauma is a lesson I’m still learning. Moving forward is demanding more time than I had anticipated, and I want to navigate this journey correctly alongside you. While I hope to leave my past behind, I recognize that you will witness its remnants. There will be moments when I need your support, even if they are difficult to confront.
You are incredible.
I often find myself watching you from the comfort of our shared space, grateful for the small acts of kindness you offer, from the coffee you bring to the blankets you drape over me. You may dismiss your actions as nothing special, but to me, they are monumental. You embrace my small gestures of intimacy, understanding their significance—whether it’s our hands intertwining or a spontaneous kiss. Your acceptance allows me to slowly unearth the love I carry.
Incorporating these experiences into my life is a gradual process, akin to assembling pieces from various paths. If you’re interested in exploring home insemination, you can check out our post on home insemination kits for more information. Also, for assistance with understanding the journey of intrauterine insemination, visit how many IUIs you should try before moving to IVF, a valuable resource. Lastly, for comprehensive information on fertility treatments, consider exploring this excellent resource for pregnancy.
Summary:
Loving someone after experiencing an abusive relationship is a multifaceted process filled with challenges and growth. It requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to rebuilding trust. While the remnants of past trauma may linger, the journey toward love can lead to profound connections and healing.