Navigating the complexities of marriage can often feel like one of life’s toughest challenges. If you believe that love alone makes your marriage effortless, it’s time for a reality check. Even the most content couples experience moments when they contemplate giving up, wishing for a map to escape their everyday struggles.
Choosing to remain committed is an ongoing decision, and some days it requires more effort than others. Marriage presents hurdles because life itself is inherently complicated. Relationships demand hard work—often messy, labor-intensive, and emotionally taxing. The mundane realities of daily life can be draining, with constant financial obligations, home repairs, and parenting responsibilities overshadowing the carefree days of single life. As time passes, couples risk becoming mere roommates, drifting apart rather than growing together.
With nearly 23 years of marriage experience and as a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, I’ve witnessed firsthand the heartache of separation among couples I once thought would endure. No one is exempt from the trials of marital life; every union is susceptible to the pressures that can lead to disconnection.
Throughout my own marriage, I’ve experienced its ups and downs, recognizing the effort required to maintain attraction over the years. It can be challenging to remain captivated by someone you’ve seen at their most vulnerable, from dealing with illness to everyday annoyances. When we begin to see our partners as imperfect individuals rather than idealized versions, the real work of connection begins.
Current statistics on divorce are debated, but one fact remains clear: the rate is alarmingly high, and each of us is at risk of being affected—whether it’s personally or through friends and family.
After observing struggles both in my professional practice and personal life, I’ve reached a pivotal realization. I yearn for the spark of a new romance. I want to experience that youthful infatuation—the butterflies in my stomach and the thrill of possibility. After much contemplation, I’ve decided to embark on an “affair” with my husband.
My intention is to make him feel cherished and desired. I want him to know he’s on my mind throughout the day, and while I may have practical thoughts about dinner or logistics, I also want to express how attractive I find him and how proud I am of him. It’s crucial for him to feel appreciated and valued, and I plan to send him flirty texts that remind him of my affection. While I may not send risqué photos (mainly to avoid unintended consequences), I will certainly let him know how good he smells, even if it’s just after a workout.
I aim to be fully present when he comes home, engaging in meaningful conversations and letting him know that his stories matter to me. I want to flirt and show him that I still see him as the handsome, witty partner I fell in love with.
I refuse to fall into the roles of nagging mother or indifferent roommate. Instead, I aspire to be the partner he longs for, making him feel pursued and needed, even when life gets busy.
This “affair” isn’t about physical intimacy alone; it’s about reigniting our emotional connection and rediscovering joy in our relationship. I envision creating romantic and adventurous moments that remind us both of our passion, even after years of marriage and raising children.
So, if you see me shopping for something special or enjoying a night out with my husband, please support this journey. If you catch us being playful or affectionate in public, don’t judge—just know that I’m committed to keeping the flame alive with the man I chose and cherish.
If you’re interested in exploring more about starting a family or the journey of home insemination, visit Make a Mom for insightful resources. For those considering fertility treatments, Intracervical Insemination offers expert guidance. Additionally, the CDC provides an excellent overview of infertility and related topics at CDC’s Infertility FAQ.
In summary, rekindling romance in marriage is essential and requires effort, creativity, and dedication. An “affair” with your partner can rejuvenate your connection, ensuring that love continues to flourish despite life’s challenges.