Embracing My Need for Mom as an Adult

Adult human female anatomy diagram chartAt home insemination

In the realm of parenthood, discussions often revolve around the trials of early childhood—sleepless nights, teething troubles, and the potential for colic. New parents are frequently inundated with advice and shared experiences over coffee, preparing them for the challenging days ahead.

As children transition into toddlerhood, a fresh set of hurdles emerges, famously dubbed the “terrible twos,” “tantrum threes,” and the “fearsome fours.” It’s a universal truth that everyone has a story about surviving these formative years.

Then come the tumultuous tween years—marked by hormonal shifts, mood swings, and the emotional rollercoaster of middle school. Parents often reminisce about their own experiences, offering a sympathetic ear to those navigating this phase.

The teenage years introduce a whole new world of challenges: dating, driving tests, college applications, curfews, and the potential pitfalls of substance use. The gap widens between those parents who appear to have it all together and those who openly acknowledge their struggles. Support becomes essential, even as it feels scarce.

However, parenting an adult presents a completely different set of circumstances. Your children might face job losses, relationship issues, or financial crises, yet there’s an unspoken expectation that by adulthood, both parents and children have mastered life’s complexities. Stories of families dealing with the struggles of adult children are rare—possibly due to embarrassment or stigma around seeking help.

There isn’t a specific age when one suddenly has everything figured out; for some, success might come at 22, while for others, it may take until 32 or even longer. It would be refreshing to hear more parents discuss the challenges of supporting their adult children rather than perpetuating the myth of perfect lives.

At nearly 50, I still find myself leaning on my parents for support. Balancing a full-time job while managing my younger children’s after-school activities would be nearly impossible without my mother’s help. They’ve also stepped in financially during tough times. If my parents are willing to assist, why should I refuse just because I am an adult?

If I can offer support to my children during their difficult moments, why should I need to justify it? Perhaps they don’t require more life lessons or confidence boosters; perhaps what they truly need is the comfort of their mother’s presence. If I can provide that support, there is no reason to deny them simply to uphold a societal expectation.

There’s an old saying: “Home is where they have to take you in.” This acceptance isn’t conditional on achieving a certain level of success or age. My children need not worry; it’s perfectly acceptable to be both a nurturing parent and to lean on one’s own mother. I’m proud to admit that I still need my mom.

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Summary:

As an adult nearing 50, I still find comfort and support from my parents, highlighting that the need for parental guidance doesn’t end with age. The journey through parenthood evolves but remains filled with challenges at every stage. Embracing the support of parents while also being there for my children is a balanced approach to navigating life’s complexities, reinforcing the notion that it’s perfectly okay to need your mom.