Recently, I shared a photo of my three-year-old daughter, Lily, crying on my blog’s Facebook page. I was simply expressing my frustrations. In an attempt to be accommodating, I sliced three bananas in various ways for her. At one point, she requested that I put them back together, but ultimately, she turned down all of them. While there’s certainly more context to the situation, it was typical toddler behavior, and the post was brief—less than 100 words.
Before long, the comment section erupted. Critics emerged, claiming this was indicative of why today’s children act entitled. I was accused of failing to assert my parental authority and allowing my three-year-old to manipulate me. Some attempted to psychoanalyze the incident, as if they were qualified to do so based on a few sentences and a blurry snapshot of my daughter in a church dress.
The post generated hundreds of comments, the majority of which were harsh critiques of my parenting. One individual even suggested I shouldn’t have had children, resorting to insulting language and engaging in disputes with other parents, which ultimately led to her banishment from my page.
If you don’t find this response to a simple post to be excessive, you might be part of the issue.
Having spent several years writing online, I’ve encountered numerous critiques about my parenting choices—from princess costumes to video games, and even the decision to use a toddler leash for safety. Yet, any parent involved in social media knows that they are likely to face unwarranted criticism for the most trivial matters. (I can practically hear you nodding as you read this.)
While parenting is indeed a serious responsibility, there are times—like during the infamous Banana Incident—when we should collectively take a step back and reconsider our approach.
The reality is that very few adults can trace their adult issues with authority back to how their parents handled banana slices. No one reflects on their university experience and concludes it was due to their parents being too lenient when they were toddlers. Moreover, no one stands before a judge and attributes their criminal behavior to being allowed to use a shopping cart while grocery shopping as a child.
There are certainly aspects of parenting that warrant criticism. For instance, the individuals behind the DaddyOFive YouTube channel faced legal repercussions for their abusive content directed at their children. Those instances deserve attention and intervention. But when it comes to bananas? That’s a different story.
Three-year-olds are inherently challenging, and parents can’t pick every battle. They must choose their fights wisely. If a blogger, friend, or relative shares a struggle about getting their toddler to eat bananas, let’s take a moment to lower our stress and recognize that they don’t need advice; they need camaraderie in navigating the trials of parenting.
Let’s foster a supportive community. Instead of fixating on minor issues, let’s share some laughter and extend kindness. Above all, let’s choose to uplift one another rather than exaggerate trivial matters into significant conflicts.
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Summary:
Online parenting critiques can often stray into unhelpful and harsh territory, especially when the subject matter is trivial, such as a child’s refusal to eat bananas. Parents face pressures from critics who make sweeping judgments based on limited information. Instead of engaging in unproductive debates, we should focus on supporting one another in the shared journey of parenting.