Today, I experienced an incident that many with invisible illnesses have faced, and despite my best efforts to prepare for it mentally, I was caught off guard. While returning from a medical appointment, I parked in a designated disability space, only to be confronted by a man who insisted that I didn’t deserve it because, in his words, “you look fine to me.”
Context of My Condition
To provide context, I have a legitimate disability permit issued by my healthcare provider due to my ongoing struggles with advanced Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome. These conditions have plagued me for nearly 12 years, and they manifest as relentless pain and severe fatigue on a daily basis. I am very cautious about using my disability parking tag; I prefer to reserve it for the days when my pain is nearly unbearable and I can barely manage my daily tasks.
The Incident
On this particular day, I had chosen a parking spot farther from my destination, positioned in front of a tax office rather than the grocery store. I noticed there were several closer disability spots available, so I felt reassured that I wasn’t taking the only option available. After completing my shopping, I noticed a man with a slight limp pass by, but I didn’t realize he was observing me as I crossed the street to return my shopping cart.
As I made my way back, I heard him yell, “Why did you take a disability space? You look fine to me!” He went on to exclaim, “I can’t walk!” In that moment, I attempted to explain my situation, but he was already hastily retreating, seemingly uninterested in understanding my struggles. I found myself raising my voice, urging him to educate himself on chronic illnesses like Lyme disease and fibromyalgia, so he wouldn’t make the same mistake with someone else.
Reflections on the Encounter
This encounter left me feeling defeated. As I drove away and wiped away my tears, I couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t chosen a regular parking spot closer to the store. I also reflected on the irony that he had claimed to be unable to walk yet was moving away from me at a brisk pace to avoid further discussion. I wished I had asked him to pause so that I could clarify my circumstances, but ultimately, I realized it was none of his business what my condition entailed. It was disappointing to see someone with their own challenges exhibit such a lack of empathy.
Taking Action
This experience has motivated me to consider writing to my local newspaper to highlight the importance of understanding invisible disabilities. Judging others without knowing the full story can lead to unnecessary pain and misunderstanding for those already grappling with chronic pain and fatigue.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, navigating life with invisible illnesses can be challenging enough without facing judgment from strangers. Awareness and understanding are crucial in fostering a more compassionate society, especially for those who live with chronic conditions.