Recently, I shared my experience regarding a labial tear that occurred during the birth of my first child. At my postpartum check-up six weeks later, my physician casually mentioned that the stitches hadn’t held, leaving me with what she humorously referred to as a “charming little flap.” It was my own version of the Red Badge of Courage. She assured me, however, that we would address it when I had my next child.
I never expected the internet’s reaction to my vagina, but my intention was to lighten the mood surrounding a challenging experience while also supporting others who might have faced similar issues. From this endeavor, I gleaned four significant lessons:
1. Vaginas Make Some People Uncomfortable.
“I can’t believe she wrote about her vagina! That’s disgusting!” Yes, I understand. But let’s be real: childbirth isn’t exactly a glamorous event. Whether through a surgical incision or the passage of a sizable infant, the process is rarely pretty. And even if your vagina makes it through unscathed, there’s often something lurking in the aftermath that requires a little extra care. If my partner can still find me attractive after witnessing the arrival of our child, then I can certainly embrace my labial flap without shame.
2. Many Appreciate the Openness.
After my article was published, I was flooded with messages from strangers sharing their own stories and thanking me for my courage to discuss a personal topic. Many women expressed relief in knowing they were not alone. Labial tears are more common than one might think, yet they often receive less attention than their more notorious counterparts, perineal tears. While I don’t envision a future in adult entertainment, I find comfort in knowing that my experience resonated with others, bringing both humor and reassurance.
3. There’s a Need for Better Understanding of Female Anatomy.
“You should share that piece with Grandma, the one about your lab-ee-ya!” “Mom, it’s pronounced ‘lay-bee-ya,’ not lab-ee-ya.” It’s astonishing how many people are unaware that tearing can happen to the labia. A friend even used my article as a chance to educate her husband—something I was genuinely proud of. Many of us lack proper knowledge about our anatomy. While prenatal courses focus heavily on what to expect from newborns, discussions about the condition of the vagina post-birth are often overlooked. This gap in education can lead to misunderstandings, as evidenced when a friend who suffered a severe tear assumed it was just a minor issue.
4. Self-Advocacy is Essential.
I realized I needed to contact my insurance provider regarding coverage for potential corrective procedures. However, upon discovering a 94-minute wait time, I opted to hang up. Nonetheless, I plan to call back when the wait is shorter. My experience in sharing this intimate aspect of my life has reinforced the importance of being our own advocates for health. Too often, women hesitate to voice discomfort or concerns, whether to healthcare professionals or insurance companies. We must be empowered to assert our needs, especially regarding postpartum care. Before welcoming another child, I’ll ensure I discuss options thoroughly with my provider to avoid any surprises later.
For those exploring options for starting a family, resources like Make A Mom can provide great insights. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination offers authoritative information on related topics, and CCRM IVF is an excellent source for pregnancy and home insemination guidance.
Summary:
Discussing my experience with a labial tear online taught me about the discomfort some feel regarding female anatomy, the appreciation for openness among women, the need for better education on bodily functions, and the importance of advocating for one’s health. Sharing these experiences can foster connection and understanding among women navigating similar challenges.