It begins innocently enough with a direct message: “Hey there! I noticed you recently celebrated a birthday! I hope it was wonderful. Your kids are absolutely adorable. It feels like ages since we’ve caught up—how long has it been, maybe five years?” Your heart sinks, and you let out a sigh, recognizing that this friendly exchange is about to take a turn for the worse.
“I hope you treated yourself on your special day! I have a fantastic way to celebrate YOU. I’m going to do something I don’t normally do and share my exclusive discount with you this month because YOU deserve it!”
Ah, the dreaded MLM private message.
This message usually comes from someone you haven’t spoken to in years—someone who has never previously reached out to check on your life or comment on “those cute pictures of your kids.” If it were a close friend, you would already know what products she’s passionate about. You would have been there to witness her journey with the skincare line that made her look ten years younger or the miraculous wraps that diminished her stretch marks. You would have had discussions about her decision to become a distributor to enjoy discounts on the products she loves, and you’d already have her special coupon codes.
No, this is someone else. Someone who has seen your posts about personal struggles, from your miscarriage to your family’s bout with the flu, and even your sleepless nights. They see dollar signs.
I’ve heard the argument: women should uplift other women trying to earn a bit of extra income. Is it so wrong to spend a little to support someone else’s dreams while also getting a quality product? However, two critical points undermine this premise. First, I need to prioritize my own family, with a budget focused on saving money. Second, does every MLM representative forget about the multitude of other distributors vying for a piece of my shrinking budget?
I’m not naïve. I know that a $100 night cream might be superior to the $20 option I convinced myself to buy, but I’m on a budget that doesn’t allow for luxury items like a designer tote costing as much as my car insurance.
The truth is, it’s not my responsibility to ensure your financial stability. If I kindly decline your offer, please take that as your cue to stop pushing your products on me. And MLM sellers: quit pretending that sharing a discount makes you virtuous. We all understand that you still profit, just as the person above you does, and the person above them, continuing up that pyramid you operate within.
A genuinely good person is someone like my friend Claire, who reached out to me recently when she learned I was struggling with postpartum anxiety. She sent me a product that helped her during her difficult times, provided instructions on how to use it, and checked in on me regularly without trying to make a sale. Now, I know what the product does for me, how to use it, and when I run out, I know exactly who to turn to.
Please, for the sake of all that is sacred: stop with the disingenuous private messages. I see right through your tactics and find them unappealing. If you ask me once, I’ll respond politely. If you ask again, I may have to block you.
We live in a digital age where we are all connected. We see your posts. No one who needs a specialty diet drink is confused about where to buy it. I’m not losing sleep over where to find that overpriced eyelash serum that promises to give me lashes so long I’ll need to trim them! Distributors, we know who you are and how to find you, and chances are, we aren’t interested in hosting a party.
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Summary
This article explores the annoyance of receiving unsolicited MLM private messages, particularly from acquaintances who are not genuinely interested in your life. It emphasizes the importance of genuine friendship over opportunistic marketing tactics while providing resources for further reading on related topics.