The tragic reality of violence in schools is a pressing concern that has ignited widespread debate. Advocates supporting the #WalkOut movement argue for student safety, while others promote the #WalkUp initiative, emphasizing inclusion and understanding. As a parent, I once firmly believed in fostering a philosophy centered around compassion and inclusivity.
I am a mother who engages in frequent discussions with my children about their social interactions and choices. We had recently moved, and my children were adapting to a new school environment. During this transition, my daughter encountered a peer who would greet her warmly. I was the parent who encouraged her to “be kind to everyone,” and when she mentioned that this child struggled to make friends, I reiterated the importance of inclusion.
However, I soon learned that this well-intentioned advice came with unforeseen consequences. A call from the school counselor revealed that my daughter was facing unwanted attention from this very peer—an alarming situation I never anticipated. Despite my attempts to instill kindness and compassion, I found myself grappling with the reality that my parenting advice may have inadvertently placed her in a vulnerable position.
This child, whom I had urged my daughter to embrace, had begun to follow her closely and verbally harass her. Distressingly, it was my daughter’s classmates who alerted the counselor to the discomfort caused by this peer’s actions. I was left questioning my approach and what I might have overlooked during our many conversations.
In the wake of this revelation, I expressed my regret to my daughter, acknowledging that my guidance may not have served her well. She reassured me that she was okay, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had inadvertently put her at risk.
Fast forward to a school trip to Washington, D.C., where my daughter found herself grouped with this same child. This time, I encouraged her to maintain distance, reinforcing her right to prioritize her safety over the obligation to be inclusive. Our conversations evolved, focusing on the realities that young women often face. We discussed the importance of being aware of her surroundings and the need to stay close to trusted adults in potentially unsafe situations.
While I do not take a definitive side in the complex issue of school violence, I realize that the encouragement to be inclusive and compassionate can sometimes lead children into precarious situations. It’s essential to recognize that there are moments when it may be appropriate to set boundaries rather than extend kindness.
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In summary, while instilling values of kindness and compassion in our children is crucial, it is equally important to teach them about personal safety and the necessity of setting boundaries when needed.