Updated: Dec. 9, 2020
Originally Published: March 19, 2018
I always believed insomnia was something that happened to others—those with peculiar sleep patterns who manage to thrive on less than the recommended 7-8 hours of nightly rest. It never struck me as a serious health condition; I regarded it more as a fleeting issue, like, “Oh, I couldn’t sleep last night because my mind was racing.”
I often heard friends mention their insomnia flaring up, commenting on their fatigue but insisting they had grown used to it. I assumed insomnia primarily affected individuals already grappling with anxiety, depression, or those who were just naturally inclined to worry, thinking it was merely temporary and would eventually resolve itself.
That perspective shifted one fateful night as I found myself wide awake at 3 a.m., staring into the abyss of my bedroom, questioning where my once sound sleep had gone. Insomnia had arrived, catching me off guard and proving that it can strike anyone, at any age, for myriad reasons. Beyond the sheer annoyance of finding nothing good on TV at such an ungodly hour, insomnia wreaks havoc on my ability to parent effectively the following day—and the day after that.
When you’re jolted awake by a hungry infant or a sick child, you can rationalize the sleeplessness as a temporary circumstance, convincing yourself it’s just a phase. However, insomnia introduces a relentless cycle of anxiety, as you start to dread the upcoming nights and the uncertainty of sleep. The worst part is knowing that you can only blame your own body for the sleeplessness, amplifying the frustration.
For many, insomnia is a temporary issue, often stemming from significant life changes or emotional upheaval; this is referred to as short-term or “acute insomnia.” It often correlates with events like a divorce, job loss, or a death in the family and usually resolves within three months.
Unfortunately, chronic insomnia is a different beast, characterized by difficulty sleeping at least three times a week over a prolonged period. It can arise from various factors, including significant stress, poor health, nighttime consumption of caffeine or alcohol, medication side effects, or mental health challenges.
In my case, insomnia began when my son left for college, coinciding with peri-menopausal changes, creating an unfortunate recipe for waking up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 3 a.m. This type of insomnia, known as maintenance insomnia, allows you to fall asleep easily but makes it nearly impossible to stay asleep or return to slumber after waking.
After a couple of hours of restless wakefulness, I might drift back to sleep only to have the alarm go off shortly thereafter. Any form of insomnia, regardless of its duration, complicates mornings and can turn an entire day into a struggle.
It’s well-known that insufficient sleep can lead to chaos. You might find yourself sleepwalking through your workday, perhaps even sneaking in a nap during lunch. However, when you’re responsible for the care of young children during the day, the effects of sleep deprivation can be brutal—impacting your patience, temperament, and overall mood.
Pushing your child on a swing can feel like running a marathon, while hearing “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” a hundred times feels like a woodpecker incessantly tapping on your brain. Even driving kids to school or activities becomes torturous, especially when you realize you’ve been awake for 13 hours by 4 p.m. The evening routine of making dinner and preparing for bed often finds your eyelids feeling heavy and your body on the verge of collapse.
Regardless of the type of insomnia you experience, there are various remedies available—behavioral, homeopathic, and medicinal—that can provide relief. Nevertheless, beyond self-management or seeking guidance from a healthcare professional, it’s essential to involve your family in addressing insomnia. Just as you would explain a cold to your children, you can discuss insomnia and its effects. Kids can grasp that lack of sleep is akin to an illness, and collectively, the family can support Mom by making necessary adjustments.
This situation also opens the door to discussions about sleep’s importance, helping kids recognize their own sleep struggles and fostering an environment where they feel comfortable seeking help—just as I did.
After two decades of parenting, one truth stands out: when Mom gets a good night’s sleep, everyone benefits the next day. Prioritize sleep starting today, and if needed, seek assistance. For further insights on insomnia and its treatments, consider visiting the National Sleep Foundation.
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Summary:
Insomnia can disrupt not only sleep but also parenting dynamics, often exacerbating stress and fatigue. Understanding the nature of insomnia—whether acute or chronic—and communicating about it within the family can help address its challenges. Prioritizing sleep is essential for both individual well-being and effective parenting.