I want to share the heartwarming story of Max and how he became an essential member of our family. My son, Liam, has been struggling profoundly since the passing of his father. He not only lost the man he looked up to the most but also became the only boy in a household filled with girls. Before his dad’s death, I often referred to them as “my boys.”
“Look at my favorite boys!” I would call out as I walked into a room where they were engrossed in a video game or a show that didn’t pique the interest of the girls. It was my way of expressing affection for both the man I cherished and the son I knew would grow into a remarkable young man. They both held a special place in my heart.
Liam’s grief manifests differently than that of his sisters—it’s not larger or worse, just distinct. He experiences a deeper sense of loneliness as a young boy without his father. He longs to build fires, tinker with tools, engage in playful wrestling, and shoot hoops—activities typically shared between fathers and sons. While I can attempt to fill that role, I cannot replicate the father-son bond. My concerns as a mother often overshadow the exhilarating experiences he seeks, and I worry that my efforts to play that role might only amplify his sorrow.
Liam’s counselor recommended finding a family friend or neighbor who could spend time with him doing “guy stuff” each month. Despite having wonderful friends, their commitments made it challenging to arrange such meet-ups.
After much contemplation, I realized what Liam truly needed was a loyal and playful companion—a “bro” who would be there for him, a friend he could trust and love wholeheartedly. He needed a dog!
We already had a dog named Bella, but she was more of a loner, preferring the company of the girls and displaying little interest in play. While we loved her, she wasn’t the lively companion Liam needed.
I began exploring the world of service and therapy dogs, looking for programs tailored for children experiencing grief or those with Attention Deficit Disorder, or perhaps a combination of both. While I didn’t find a specific program, my research provided insights into how a well-trained dog could significantly benefit Liam, offering both emotional support and assistance with his ADD challenges.
As I delved deeper, I faced the daunting task of selecting the right breed, weighing the pros and cons of adopting a rescue versus a breeder, and deciding whether to get a puppy or an older dog. I consulted our veterinarian for guidance and compiled a list of questions to consider.
My tendency to worry kicked in as I thought about the financial implications and the responsibilities that come with dog ownership—food, veterinary care, potential emergencies, and the additional messes and work. I mulled over these concerns for weeks until one day, overwhelmed with emotion, I found myself sobbing. I yearned for my late husband to be part of this decision-making process. This choice felt monumental! I missed his input and support, especially since parenting was already heavy on my shoulders.
Two significant moments ultimately prompted me to move forward with bringing Max into our lives. The first occurred during a parent-teacher conference for my daughter, where I noticed a father and son racing joyfully to their car. I could see the heartbreak in Liam’s eyes as he watched them. He looked up at me and expressed, “I really miss Dad.”
The second moment came a week later when I received a call from school informing me that Liam was inconsolable. Initially, I thought it was a typical friend-related issue, but when I picked him up, he opened up about a soccer player who had visited their PE class and how much he missed his dad taking him to soccer games.
In that instant, I realized that my priority was to be present for him. I canceled the rest of my plans and devoted my time to comforting him. These moments reinforced my gratitude for being available to my children during their times of grief—this was my “real job,” and it was invaluable.
With all these reflections in mind, I resolved to find a boy dog for Liam. Although I have a preference for rescue animals, I needed to ensure this dog had a reliable history and temperament. I eventually located a reputable local breeder associated with a non-profit that trains service dogs for children and veterans. If they trusted this breeder, so could I.
I involved Liam in every step of the process, wanting him to feel a sense of ownership and responsibility from the start. I explained to my daughters that this would be Liam’s dog; he would choose the name, lead training sessions, and be responsible for all the care.
Upon meeting Max, tears streamed down Liam’s face. “Are you sad?” I asked, confused. He buried his face in the puppy’s soft fur and replied, “These are tears of joy!”
Since bringing Max home, the positive impact has been profound—not just for Liam but for our entire family. Each of us has found an additional outlet for love. It’s true what they say: in times of loneliness and grief, showing love and care for another being can fill our hearts with joy. I have witnessed countless moments of laughter and happiness from Liam since Max joined us. Now, he has his buddy and the “guy time” he craved. Once again, I find myself saying, “There are my favorite boys!”
In summary, Max not only brought companionship to Liam but also became a source of healing for our entire family. When faced with grief, finding ways to nurture love and connection can significantly aid in the healing process.
For more insights on family transitions, check out this link. If you’re exploring home insemination options, consider this excellent resource from the Cleveland Clinic on IVF and fertility preservation: this resource.