As I access the online portal to review my seventh grader’s academic performance, I’m immediately struck by the absence of any favorable grades. The report displays a collection of Ds and Fs, which, while disappointing, doesn’t come as a shock. This isn’t due to a lack of intelligence or high expectations on my part; it’s simply a reflection of the reality of his educational journey.
I’ve come to understand that traditional schooling does not cater to my son’s unique strengths. When he was younger, I was optimistic about his academic future. He was an early reader with a vocabulary that surpassed many adults. His insatiable curiosity about subjects like science was evident, and by age three, he could discuss everything from vertebrae to carnivorous plants.
If you had asked me back then how he would fare in seventh grade, I would have predicted he’d be excelling. However, as he progressed through school, ADHD became a significant barrier, overshadowing his potential. His challenges with focus led to frequent distractions, making it difficult for him to grasp the material. Despite trying medication and various accommodations, such as using an exercise ball instead of a chair, his academic performance continued to decline. Ultimately, he was removed from the gifted program due to poor test scores, not because of a lack of capability but due to a system that failed to support him.
We decided to transition him to an online schooling model, which has provided some relief. Despite this change, he still struggles with his studies, moving through assignments with the enthusiasm of a reluctant participant. Tests seem to blank him out entirely, as if he hasn’t learned anything.
This situation is frustrating for both of us. He feels the pressure from teachers urging him to improve, while I see the potential that lies beneath his academic struggles. Yet, when I observe him engrossed in computer repairs—a hobby he’s turned into a side hustle—I am reminded of his true talents. At just twelve, he’s self-taught in various programming languages and is often our household tech support. Recently, I received a call from his online teacher, expecting yet another conversation about grades. Instead, she praised him for resolving a connectivity issue for the class through his coding skills, showcasing a side of him that school does not typically recognize.
My son’s struggles with academics can be especially challenging given that his siblings are high achievers. It’s easy to compare their successes to his shortcomings. Of course, I wish he enjoyed school and performed at a higher level, but I’ve come to realize that academic achievement does not define his worth. He is driven, curious, and passionate about areas outside the classroom. While school is an important part of his life, it is merely one chapter in a much larger narrative.
I’ve decided to shift my focus away from grades and instead nurture his interests and strengths. Encouraging him to explore his passions is vital, as true success encompasses much more than mere grades. After all, no one is remembered solely for their academic performance, and the best gift I can give him is to recognize his potential beyond the confines of a report card.
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In summary, while my son’s academic journey is fraught with obstacles, I am committed to supporting him in pursuing his passions and recognizing his unique capabilities.