Life is filled with predictable events. For instance, if you decide to wash your car or spend time on your hair, rain is likely to follow. Additionally, it’s almost a certainty that any social media post celebrating a wedding anniversary will mention the phrase “best friend.” Phrases like “I married my best friend” or “so grateful to wake up next to my best friend” abound. Yet, I hesitate to use that phrase for my husband.
Describing him as my best friend feels like downplaying the depth of our connection. It’s akin to referring to a hurricane as a gentle breeze or calling the Grand Canyon merely a hole in the ground. There’s no simple expression that can encapsulate the intricacies of our relationship.
Before rolling your eyes or feeling nauseated, let me clarify: this isn’t about claiming we have a perfect marriage or that our love story is unparalleled. We are just an ordinary couple who have been together for years. We bicker over trivial matters, tackle significant issues, and sometimes life simply pulls us apart. He knows exactly how to push my buttons—faster than anyone else, I might add—but that’s part of the beauty of our bond. It’s not just about knowing my pet peeves; it’s about understanding me on a profound level.
While my best friend may know my aversion to fish or my tendency to suffer hangovers from tequila, my husband knows details that run much deeper: my social security number, the medication that can turn me into a balloon, and the sentimental story behind my beloved but tattered stuffed bear. He understands my reactions in various situations and is aware of my fears and past traumas. He senses what I can’t articulate.
I cherish my friendships; they are significant and contribute greatly to my happiness. We have shared laughter and unforgettable moments, but I have never relied on them during critical times. I haven’t cried with them over shared struggles or fought alongside them to rebuild what’s been lost. They can lend advice, but their emotional investment isn’t the same because, at the end of the day, it’s not their life or our life. The connection I feel with my friends, no matter how grateful I am, doesn’t compare to what I experience with my husband.
Friendship requires effort, but not in the same way a marriage does. While friendships can be relatively straightforward, marriages demand hard work, sacrifice, and resilience. It’s about weathering storms together and actively trying to stay afloat when life gets tumultuous. This commitment deserves a title that transcends “friend.” After all, you can add “best” to “friend,” but it still doesn’t capture the multifaceted, messy, beautiful love we’ve cultivated, which has required effort and growth.
Until someone coins a term that better reflects our unique bond, I’ll choose to celebrate our anniversary with a humorous card that captures our essence, leading to laughter and shared moments that remind us that we are so much more than friends.
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In summary, while friendships hold immense value in our lives, the bond I share with my husband is unique and irreplaceable. He is my partner, my confidant, and so much more than just a friend.